From The New Yorker magazine: Silent Night
All is dark, there’s no light.
Cyclone clouds have blocked out the sky,
We’re almost out of our dry-meat supply.
Sleep in uneasy peace.
(We may have to eat Aunt Bernice.) ♦
My hometown—via a drone’s eye view.
Appalachian flatfoot dancing! Just the coolest thing ever. I am going to learn this, y’all. Got my tap shoes ordered and my instructional DVD on its way.
Be sure to watch Charmine Slaven in the second clip when she starts dancing while playing the guitar at about the 1 minute mark.
To get you into the Christmas spirit.
I hadn’t seen a commercial for the “male enhancer” Extenze on TV for a long time (sorry about that.) Then, the other night it raised its ugly head once again. (My apologies for another innuendo.) Here’s a cartoon I drew a few years ago when Extenze was in its hey-day, before we were forced to watch couples sitting in separate bathtubs (Cialis) and wonder just what the hell that was supposed to mean. Enjoying the “after glow?” Or taking a sitz bath to relieve the itching? I’ll never understand corporate America.
I was reading a piece in New York Magazine today by a writer who kept mishearing part of a new Taylor Swift song. Even though she knew what the lyrics were, her brain kept hearing it incorrectly. This is called a “mondegreen:”
A series of words that result from the mishearing or misinterpretation of a statement or song lyric. For example, “I led the pigeons to the flag” for “I pledge allegiance to the flag.”
Coined by Sylvia Wright in Harper’s Magazine (The Death of Lady Mondegreen, Nov 1954) from a mishearing of a line in the Scottish ballad The Bonny Earl of Murray: “They have slain the Earl of Murray, / And laid him on the green” (misheard as “They have slain the Earl of Murray/ And Lady Mondegreen”).
When my daughter was little, she would sing along to Jose Feliciano’s Christmas song, “Feliz Navidad.” Since she didn’t know any Spanish at that time, the chorus would always come out as “Feliz Blobby-blob.” Another Yuletide song that kids tend to mangle is “Silent Night.” A mondegreen of that tune (which I love) is: “Round John Virgin, mother and child” instead of “round yon virgin, mother and child.”
Are you, or someone you know, guilty of creating mondegreens? Have any favorites?
Feliz Blobby-blob, y’all!
Here are some photos of my dad from an earlier post I did on my family history.
I find this photo particularly poignant. I managed to date it to Dec. 25, 1942 from the headline on the newspaper my Dad is reading. He would be going into the Coast Guard soon to serve during WWII. He had the opportunity to get a job at a factory that supplied the war effort and essentially sit out the war safely at home, but he wouldn’t do it. He didn’t feel he could face his children if he didn’t “do his part.” My Mother (on the right) is about 2 or 3 months pregnant with my older brother. My Grandmother is on the left, lost in thought. To me, this scene reminds me of a Norman Rockwell painting.
My mother found her own hunky dude in the form of my father, Jack, seen here on his Coast Guard ship during WWII. His ancestors came to this country from the Alsace region of France, probably in the early 1700’s. (That region typically veered back and forth between the control of France and Germany until finally coming under French rule in recent times.) My Dad’s relative during the Revolutionary War provided meat to the troops, so we qualify for membership in the DAR for that “patriotic assistance.” They say an army travels on its stomach….
When I was a kid, my Dad would let us play with the semaphore flags he had brought back from the war. Sometimes he would demonstrate how to send certain messages and occasionally, with a mischievous gleam in his eye, he would spell out words that we knew had to be “naughty,” but we didn’t know what they were. My mother would just say, “Oh, Jack!” and laugh along with us.
My parents’ union was “blessed” first with the arrival of my brother, Tim, in 1943 and then with me in 1947. Get a load of the noggin on that baby!
Dad passed away in 1998 at the age of 82. His generation had to deal with the Great Depression and WWII. They had a job to do and they stepped up and did it. Many never returned to their families. We were among the lucky ones. Thanks, Dad.
Due to the sorry elections results in this state (Texas), I offer up one of my older cartoons. Still relevant, unfortunately.
“WE DIFFER POLITICALLY. I’M A DEMOCRAT AND HE’S AN ILL-INFORMED ASSHAT.”
From The Daily Kos– by Bill in Portland Maine:
I Give Up
Okay, fine. I’m now willing to believe that Ebola is the #1 threat to the American homeland. You can get it through bodily fluids, shoelaces and sunspots. You can get it from touching a doorknob, boiling a potato, talking on the phone, looking at a map of Africa or living on the same continent as Dallas. Ebola flies through the air, tunnels under the earth, swims across the ocean and replicates itself via 3D printers halfway around the world. Everybody in America has Ebola. Ebola hides under the bed. Ebola is our master. It rules the universe. It is God’s punishment for Benghazi. It is in our beer.
And if Clippy ever popped up
on your screen, you have Ebola.
I’m willing to believe President Obama personally brought Ebola to the United States on Air Force One and it’s now living in the White House. Ebola is going to take over our homes, our churches (prepare yourself for same-sex Ebola marriage), our factories and our money supply. Any election won by a Democrat is really an election won by Ebola. America will soon be run by illegal immigrants thanks to Ebola. The head of the CDC is just Ebola in a lab coat. Ebola will pave the way for a Russian invasion, but not before it releases all the Guantanamo prisoners (who all have Ebola). And of course Ebola is going to take away our guns.
I’m willing to believe that only for-profit Jeb Bush-run charter schools, fracking, elimination of the IRS and deep-sea oil drilling can protect us from Ebola. Tax cuts, tort reform and mandatory transvaginal ultrasounds will weaken Ebola. But nothing will kill it until we elect Ted Cruz president in 2016.
I’m willing to believe that anyone returning from west Africa who tests negative for Ebola is lying, and they should all be shrink-wrapped and launched into space.
Yes, Republicans, I’m willing to “believe” all this bullshit and more. You convinced me. I’m sold. Now will you please…shut…the fuck…up.
From the Daily Kos, written by Dr. RJ:
About five years ago, during the H1N1 influenza outbreak (a.k.a. swine flu), the Egyptian government slaughtered every pig within the country’s borders. None of the 300,000 pigs that were killed was actually a vector for the disease, but that made no difference. Even while being told by every scientific and medical professional in the world that it would be a waste of time and resources, Egypt did it anyway. And 344 years earlier, during the Great Plague of London, the Yersinia pestis bacteria killed 15 percent of the city’s population, or around 100,000 people. One of the public health measures ordered by London officials was the killing of thousands of dogs and cats. However, since in reality it was the fleas on the backs of rats that were actually spreading the plague, the culling did nothing and removed predators that would have fed on the disease-causing vector. People in the 17th century hadn’t worked out the finer points of germ theory. Those of us in the here and now don’t have that excuse.
Unfortunately, even with all of the advancements and knowledge gained from previous experiences, there is still no vaccine against stupidity.
Over the past month, as the Ebola situation within the United States has taken shape, we’ve witnessed suggested travel bans that won’t do anything to stop the virus, a “czar” appointed to coordinate a response to a disease that has infected a grand total of four people who were at some point symptomatic and within the country, willful ignorance about how Ebola is transmitted and crackpot conspiracy theories that say this whole situation is motivated by liberal guilt about slavery, big pharma profits or population control, and widespread fear and panic that’s closed schools and been used for political opportunism. Every case of a person infected with Ebola, whether here or anywhere else in the world, is a horrible tragedy. However, let’s get real about this. Around 30,000 Americans will die from the flu this year. There will be no appointment of a flu czar or shut down of air travel, and some of the same people freaking out about Ebola won’t vaccinate either themselves or their children against influenza because of cockamamie beliefs about vaccines.