Sweatin’ With Izumi

Izumi Tabata.

That name alone causes my butt to clench and makes me break out in a cold sweat.

Mr. Tabata invented a type of high intensity interval training, otherwise known as HIIT.  (As in, “Don’t hiiitttt me again with that move!”)

“High-intensity interval training is an enhanced form of interval training.  It’s an exercise strategy alternating periods of short intense anaerobic exercise with less-intense recovery periods. HIIT is a form of cardiovascular exercise.  Usual HIIT sessions may vary from 4–20 minutes. These short, intense workouts provide improved athletic capacity and condition, improved glucose metabolism, and improved fat burning.”

Professor Tabata’s “regime,” initially involving Olympic speedskaters, uses 20 seconds of ultra-intense exercise followed by 10 seconds of rest, repeated continuously for 4 minutes (8 cycles).

Today at my exercise class we did a full 20 minutes.  It’s been said if you aren’t seeing stars and feeling as if you’re going to croak on the spot, you aren’t working hard enough.

I think I saw my life pass before my eyes, so I guess my session was a success.

Afterward, we had a wonderful 30 minutes of cool down and yoga stretches.  Our instructor, Shannon (AKA the Energizer bunny), told us this was designed to bring our “Chi” down from the high level where we were functioning.

“Chi” is the Chinese term for life force or life energy.

As we began, Shannon said her “Chi” was poking out all over her.

To this I replied:  “With  me, it’s more like Chee-tos.”

Tabata—When garden variety torture won’t do.

 

Reading is FUN-damental

“I’M SORRY, OUR BOOK’S BEEN CHECKED OUT.”

Underwear Horoscope by Jenna Marbles

I read about YouTube sensation Jenna Marbles on the NYT website today and thought this video of hers was especially funny.

In it, she predicts what’s going to happen in your life based on what kind of underwear you’re wearing today.

Also, be sure to check out her video of Sarah Palin giving a cooking lesson.

And, her advice for applying makeup for a night out when you’ve already been drinking all day–”Drunk Makeup Tutorial.”

And, the one where she shows you how to apply makeup to trick people into thinking you look good when you really don’t.

Basically, all of her videos.

(According to Jenna, I guess I need to get rid of the underwear pack.  At least I don’t wear the “granny panty.”  Yet.)

Sweet “Sicks-teen”

Today I am commemorating sixteen years since I had my hysterectomy.

Yay.

Couldn’t get that sucker out of there fast enough, if you ask me.  I suffered through ten years of what they laughingly call “peri-menopause.”

(Otherwise known as “your HMO won’t do a hysterectomy unless you’ve got a mass or are just about dead.”  And they wouldn’t do a sonogram to find out if there was a mass, so the bean counters won that round.)

Anyhoo, I’ve gone from being the sole support of the tampon industry to having a vested interest in Poise pads now.  Life is funny.

THE SITUATION, MARCH 1997

 

APRIL 7, 1997

 

Lady Liberty

“YOU’RE NOT A TRUE PATRIOT UNLESS YOU THINK THE GOVERNMENT IS OUT TO GET YOU.”

Same Old, Same Old

“SAME SEX” MARRIAGE? BIG DEAL. SINCE WE GOT MARRIED, WE’VE ALWAYS HAD THE SAME SEX.

From the G.O.P. Prayer Book

Saw this by Yoni Brenner on The New Yorker website and just had to pass it along:

Peace Prayer

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

Where there is hatred, let me  sow love;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is faith, the right  kind of faith;

Thou knowest, something with Christmas and Easter,

And a  normative/non-ethnic Jesus.

Where there are taxes, let me lower them,

Where there are regulations, let me lift them,

Where there are capital gains,  let me leave them as is,

For capital gains are awesome,

And what is this,  France?

Where there are immigrants, let me deport them;

Where there are  gays, let me un-gay them;

And where there are women’s issues, let me sidestep  them,

Because, frankly, we’ve really been getting burned on that lately.

Speak, O Divine Master!

Whether directly to my soul or indirectly through  Roger Ailes;

Tell me Thy will, and I shall obey it!

Show me Thy path, and  I shall follow it!

Unless Thy will involves some form of gun control;

Which, as Thou knowest, is a nonstarter.

Amen.

Read more: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/shouts/2013/03/shouts-murmurs-republican-prayers-humor.html#ixzz2OfuGDVnc