Under the Bed and On the Market
10 Feb 2012 14 Comments
in Aging, Family, health care, Humor Tags: Aging, daughters, health care, Humor, husbands, Michele Bachmann, mothers, muscle relaxants, real estate, Texas
Note from the Eldercare Underground:
Muscle relaxants and real estate deals edition
Well, it’s been an interesting week.
Last Sunday my daughter phoned and said that she’d been to visit my mother at The Hotel (retirement center) and found that my mother had fallen again the day before.
Only this time she’d somehow managed to land partly underneath her bed.
She told my daughter that she was okay—just some rug burn on her elbow and was only a little skeevy in the mid-back area. But my daughter thought (correctly) that I should know about it, so I went over to see what was going on.
When I got there I got the same story from my mother and the same reassurances that everything was fine. No problemo, not to worry. She said the nurses had checked her out and didn’t find anything broken or out of whack, so I figured everything was under control.
On Thursday I stopped by around 1:00 and found my mother changing her clothes. She said they’d made a doctor’s appointment for her for 2:00 and she needed to get ready. Nobody had phoned me about it so I asked the manager what was up and she said my mother had been complaining about back pain and had only sporadically been coming to the dining room for her meals.
I’m glad I just happened to be there because sending my mother off to a doctor’s appointment under her own recognizance would be like electing Michele Bachmann president—in other words, a disaster.
So I went with her and the doctor thought her back pain was mainly from muscle spasms, so she prescribed a “non-sedative” muscle relaxant, to be given twice a day as needed and authorized a request for the physical therapist to do an evaluation.
I phoned today and the manager, Sandy, said that my mother was still having her breakfasts in her room, but she was going to try to get her to move around more and come to the dining room for her other meals.
The jury is still out on that for the time being, so we’ll have to see.
And today, I listed her home of the last twelve years for sale.
My husband had the Herculean task of cleaning the place up to get it ready, and I have to give him kudos for a job well done.
My mother wouldn’t let us do much (if any) cleaning for her and consequently the place, especially the kitchen, had well-worn paths of grime and sticky, bacony (if there is such a word related to bacon grease) surfaces that resisted industrial strength cleaners. The stove and range in her kitchen ended up in the metal recycling bin at the landfill, so you can just imagine.
But he prevailed and you can see the results in the photos below. Most of her furniture either has gone to immediate family members or was taken over to her new digs at The Hotel, so the place is a bit sparse but still pretty attractive since it reflects a lot of the charm of the 1910 era home that it is.
Click to enlarge and you can see the dents in the roof from the softball-size hail storm circa 1948.
(Click to enlarge) The Van Gogh "Sunflowers" on the wall is crewel needlework that I did for my mother for Christmas 1970. (No way would I have the patience to do that now.)
(Click to enlarge) The two oil paintings here in the kitchen were done by talented friends of my mother's.
(Click to enlarge) The oil painting on the left is one my mother did and the watercolor on the right (kind of obscured by the reflection) is one I did of my parents' last home together in Laguna Beach, CA.
I Wish I’d Said That
14 Jan 2012 5 Comments
in Cartoons, Politics, Texas Tags: Bill Moyers, cartoon, Citizens United, Colbert Report, corporations aren't people too, G.O.P., Politics, Republicans, Supreme Court, Texas
Quote of the Month:
“My friend said, ‘Corporations are people when Texas executes one.’”
Bill Moyers on the Colbert Report
Perry: Texas Toast?
09 Nov 2011 7 Comments
in Humor, Politics, Texas Tags: brain fart, buh-bye now, G.O.P., Humor, Politics, Republicans, Rick Perry, Texas
Rick Perry at tonight's CNBC Republican debate.
Romancing the Stone
07 Nov 2011 26 Comments
in Aging, Biology, Family, Humor, kids, Life, Texas, Travel Tags: Aging, Enchanted Rock State Park, hiking, Humor, kids, plantar fasciitis, Rice Krispy knee, Rick Perry, Rocky Balboa, Texas
My son and his family were here in Texas this weekend from California and one of the things they wanted to do was hike to the top of Enchanted Rock.
(Please click on the photos for enlarged views.)
Enlarge the view and, yes, those are people way up at the top.
Here’s a short video from the Texas Parks and Wildlife department:
Seven of our four adult, four kids and one grandma party of climbers decided to take the vertical attack in ascending the dome.
Two of us, my daughter-in-law and I, otherwise known as The Lame and The Halt, opted for a modified switch-back approach at about the three-quarters point in the climb.
My DIL suffers from a knee injury that causes her knee to sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies when she walks, and I have plantar fasciitis (heel pain) in one foot, with a little tarsal tunnel syndrome thrown in for added enjoyment.
We were traversing in a more diagonal fashion back and forth across the face of the rock instead of climbing straight up and it wasn’t long before we realized that we’d lost sight of the rest of our little group.
At that point we couldn’t see the top of the dome. We looked around us and saw no other climbers below us either.
It was just us chickens.
This must be how the Donner Party felt.
Finally we saw two women walking down from the summit and I asked them if the end was in sight.
One said, “Oh, there’s a flat area and then it’s just a little more after that!”
Her companion said, “You’ve got a long way to go.”
Great. An optimist and a pessimist out on a hike together.
But we did manage to get to the top not too long after everybody else and I have to admit the views were spectacular.
You can see the effects of the long drought on the vegetation.
Triumphant granddaughters!
I give new meaning to the name "Rocky."
Granddaughter in obligatory "pushing the boulder" pose.
On the downhill walk, looking back toward the summit.
Interesting rock formations. Discuss among yourselves...
Dear Governor Goodhair: Forget Cain, please send rain.
Move Over, Herman
14 Oct 2011 4 Comments
in health care, Humor, Politics, Texas Tags: "1-1-1" plan, "9-9-9" plan, Andy Borowitz, G.O.P., health care, Humor, Jon Huntsman, Michele Bachmann, Politics, Republicans, Rick Perry, Texas, The Borowitz Report
Oh, that Andy Borowitz. God love ‘im. He’s got to be my favorite humorist and commentator on politics and the absurdity of modern life.
We’ve all heard about Herman Cain’s “9-9-9″ plan.
Michele Bachmann smilingly said that, upside down, it’s the mark of the beast.
Jon Huntsman lamely quipped that it’s the price of a pizza.
Now, here’s Andy in the Borowitz Report today on Rick Perry’s plan:
**********************************
Elsewhere, Texas Governor Rick Perry announced what he called his “1-1-1″ plan:
“Every American gets 1 percent tax, 1 mandatory vaccination, and 1 execution.”
***************************
Charlton Heston He Ain’t
13 Oct 2011 9 Comments
in Humor, Politics, religion, Texas Tags: Anita Perry, burning bush, Charlton Heston, G.O.P., God, Humor, Moses, Politics, religion, Republicans, Rick Perry, Texas
Here’s candidate Rick Perry’s wife, Anita, reflecting on her husband being “called by God” to run for the presidency:
“She likened Perry’s decision to run to encountering a “burning bush,” a reference to the Biblical story of Moses receiving a sign from God. And Anita Perry suggested that her husband’s current difficulties were a “test.”
“Last week, someone came up to Rick and gave him the scripture. He said “Rick, I want to tell you God is testing you,” she said.”
And, not unlike Gov. Goodhair’s time at Texas A & M, he’s making C’s and D’s.
And that “burning bush”? I think that was the state of Texas this past summer.
Just sayin’.
Ya Think?
08 Oct 2011 12 Comments
in Humor, Politics, Texas Tags: G.O.P., God, Humor, Katie Couric, not mentioning the Bible, Politics, religion, Republicans, Rick Perry, Sarah Palin, Texas
Shades of Katie Couric’s famous “gotcha” question to Sarah Palin about what newspapers she reads:
“But Perry, campaigning Saturday in Iowa’s staunchly conservative northwest, barely touched on religion at all. In stops at Sioux City and Orange City, he never mentioned Mormonism, Romney by name, or even Christianity, for that matter.
Asked by Republican Steven Bernston what books have most influenced him, Perry mentioned only one: the work of conservative economist Friedrich Hayek. Bernston, a corn and beans farmer from Paullina, later said he was surprised that Perry didn’t at least mention the Bible.
“I don’t think he’s a reader,” Bernston said in an interview, noting that Perry used the question to switch to previous statements about his opposition to government efforts to stimulate the economy.”
Molly-isms
18 Sep 2011 15 Comments
in Humor, Politics, Texas, Women Tags: Democrats, Dubya, G.O.P., Gov. Goodhair, Humor, Molly Ivins, Politics, Republicans, Rick Perry, Texas
Today I thought I’d honor the late Molly Ivins (1944-2007) whose humor and keen observations are greatly missed this election season. We have Molly to thank for the term “Governor Goodhair” in reference to Rick Perry. How perfect is that?
Molly’s quotable quotes:
•In Texas, we do not hold high expectations for the [governor's] office; it’s mostly been occupied by crooks, dorks and the comatose.
• Good thing we’ve still got politics in Texas — finest form of free entertainment ever invented.
• [on Texas politics] Better than the zoo. Better than the circus.
• I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part, and discuss it only with consenting adults.
•A few years before Billie Carr (click the link to read Molly’s eulogy of the “Godmother of Texas Liberals”) died this September at age 74, a friend called to ask how she was doing. “Well,” she said, “They just impeached my boy up in Washington, there’s not a Democrat left in statewide office in Texas, the Republicans have taken every judgeship in Harris County, and yesterday I found out I have cancer.”
Pause.
“I think I’ll go out and get a pregnancy test because with my luck, it’ll come back positive.”
• Naturally, when it comes to voting, we in Texas are accustomed to discerning that fine hair’s-breadth worth of difference that makes one hopeless dipstick slightly less awful than the other. But it does raise the question: Why bother?
Oh, it’s just that your life is at stake.
• It’s a low-tax, low-service state–so shoot us. The only depressing part is that, unlike Mississippi, we can afford to do better. We just don’t.
• As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can’t drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against ‘em anyway, you don’t belong in office.
• Although it is true that only about 20 percent of American workers are in unions, that 20 percent sets the standards across the board in salaries, benefits and working conditions. If you are making a decent salary in a non-union company, you owe that to the unions. One thing that corporations do not do is give out money out of the goodness of their hearts.
•Let me say for the umpteenth time, George W. is not a stupid man. The IQ of his gut, however, is open to debate. In Texas, his gut led him to believe the death penalty has a deterrent effect, even though he acknowledged there was no evidence to support his gut’s feeling. When his gut, or something, causes him to announce that he does not believe in global warming — as though it were a theological proposition — we once again find his gut ruling that evidence is irrelevant. In my opinion, Bush’s gut should not be entrusted with making peace in the Middle East.
•Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.
Best. Tweet. Ever.
13 Sep 2011 15 Comments
in Humor, Politics, Texas Tags: G.O.P., giving chimps a bad name, Humor, luggage, Politics, Republicans, Rick Perry, Texas
Loved this tweet from GOP strategist Mike Murphy about last night’s Tea Party Express/CNN debate :
“Listening to Perry try to put a complicated policy sentence together is like watching a chimp play with a locked suitcase.”
Flushed with Civic Pride
25 Aug 2011 20 Comments
in Humor, Texas Tags: douche nozzles, drought, Humor, Texas, toilets, Walmart, water restrictions
Because of the ongoing drought here in Texas, our little burg went to Stage 4 water restrictions a few weeks back. That meant that folks are only allowed to water lawns and landscaping on certain designated days.
Those days are determined by the residents’ street addresses: those ending in a 1 or a 2 have Mondays as their watering day, and so on through the week.
No one is allowed to water on the weekends and, no matter what your day, there is no watering between the hours of 10:00 am and 6:00 pm because with the temps. hovering at 100 degrees (or more), the water would just evaporate and be a complete waste of that precious resource.
People being what they are (“Don’t Tread on Me” douche nozzles) you can imagine that there have been a number of violations of this city ordinance.
Lawns in some areas have been suspiciously green. So much for the honor system.
It was time to kick butt, so the city sent out their enforcers who started giving people citations for breaking the “What part of ‘no watering’ do you not understand?” law, to the tune of $250 per citation, with repeat offenders facing the possibility of having their water service cut off.
Suddenly, more lawns became brown and crispy. The sign of a true patriot.
Or, someone who has to take a direct hit to his wallet in order to become a good citizen.
The other day I was at Walmart, my second home, and I felt nature calling.
Okay, I had to pee. So I went to the restroom at the back of the store. You have to walk along the faux flower aisle to get there and I saw that they have all the Fall decor out. Everything was a rather loud array in shades of orange, brown and yellow.
Normally, I wouldn’t mind seeing that. But since all of the countryside is already in hues of desiccated oranges, dried-up browns and parched yellows, this was not something I wanted to linger around and enjoy.
I headed straight to the bathroom, and upon opening the door I was immediately met with a loud whooshing sound. In fact, I could hear it outside of the bathroom and from some distance.
At first I thought it was one of the wall mounted hand dryers that blast out a stream of air, since those things are pretty loud.
Get your hands dried and lose 25% of your hearing all at the same time.
Pretty quickly, though, I discovered that the sound was the continual flushing of the toilet in the handicapped stall. I went to investigate and was somewhat amazed at the velocity and volume of water that was, literally, being flushed down the toilet in a wasteful fashion.
The toilets are the kind that have a sensor that detects (I’m assuming) when your hiney blocks out the light and then gives you so many seconds before the automatic flush kicks in.
There is also a little black button on the wall behind it so you can “do-it-yourself” if you’re so inclined. So I pushed that a couple of times just to see if maybe that might reset the mechanism or something.
Nope. Niagara was still churning away.
So upon leaving I snagged an employee who was walking to the storeroom area adjacent to the bathrooms. She was taking off her name tag so she probably was done for the day.
To her credit, she only looked slightly annoyed when I stopped her.
I told her what was going on in the ladies’ bathroom and her expression changed right away to one of concern. “We can’t have that!” she said and then she told me she would find someone who could take care of it.
Today we got our local paper which has been reporting the state of the water wells for the city every week.
This week’s amount of water being pumped on any given day was 3.6 million gallons.
We figure 550,000 gallons of that came from the ladies’ room handicapped toilet at WalMart.
Your 2 Cents