The Orthodox Agnostic

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I may live in the Bible Belt, but with me it may as well be the SansaBelt (with apologies to the late Ed McMahon for that one.)  It’s not that I haven’t tried religion.  When we moved to Texas I did join a church, got baptized and the whole nine cubits.  But I don’t think it “took,” since I always feel like a fish out of water.  I think this cartoon by, once again, Roz Chast, illustrates my dilemma.

090720_cartoon_c_a14251_p465

One of my favorite people here in Texas is Kinky Friedman, formerly of the band Kinky and The Texas Jewboys, who is also the author of a series of best-selling mystery novels.  Kinky ran for governor a few years ago under the slogans of “How hard can it be?” and  “I’ll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!”

What I like about Kinky, among many things, is his take on religion.  He lives in the Bible Belt but that doesn’t stop him from telling it like it is—at least from his perspective: 

 “Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.”

“I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn’t hold ’em under long enough.” 

The last couple of years we’ve been bludgeoned with the “Merry Christmas” vs. “Happy Holidays” blunt weapon, where people actually threatened to boycott stores that didn’t proclaim the former rather than the latter.  Can’t we all just get along?  Kinky has it right with his own holiday greeting: 

“May the God of your choice bless and keep you this holiday season.” 

As for religion’s place in politics, he said:

“Yes, I’m a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and… both of them were independents, by the way.”

In the same vein, here’s a tongue-in-cheek ATC I did awhile back—

jesusrepublican

Kinky once said that he considers himself an “Orthodox Atheist.”  As for me, I think I’m more of an Orthodox Agnostic.

Besides, it’s wise to be kind to everyone, no matter who or what they are. 

Even pets. 

Especially pets.

You never know.  

God could be a cat.

11 thoughts on “The Orthodox Agnostic”

  3. Did you by any chance know Molly Ivins? You sure remind me of her – and that, Mz TTPT, is a true compliment! 🙂 Kinky is a hoot – I was sure he was going to win – silly me, it is TX afterall. Just good to know there’s at least two sane folks over there now – you and Kinky – Molly must be smiling down on you!!:):) So glad Miss Merrilymarylee told me about you!! yeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaa!:):)

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    • Thank y’all! I may not have been born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could. As Kinky has said: “Remember: Y’all is singular. All y’all is plural. All y’all’s is plural possessive.”

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  4. I’ve been calling myself an agnostic for many years now, but Orthodox Agnostic sounds so much more scholarly, as though there should be a degree attached to it. If you don’t mind, TTPT, I’d like to sign up.

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  5. Girl, you are a hoot! I’ve been going back and reading some of your older blogs and laughing my head off. I will definately be following your blog from now on. I am the same age as you and apparently the same religion. Never knew it had such a classy name. You are so much fun!

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  6. Wikipedia discusses what an Agnostic Atheist is. This term seems to cover not believing in the existence of any deity, while still admitting not knowing for sure that a deity might exist.
    I think I will explore being an UNOrthodox Agnostic Atheist. It appeals to my sense of not conforming with just about everyone…

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  8. Hello! I’ve been reading your site for a long time now and
    finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Huffman Tx!
    Just wanted to tell you keep up the excellent job!

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Okay. Your turn!