So it seems Dick Cheney, that most recent incarnation of Darth Vader, is emerging from his undisclosed location to write his memoirs. And he’s telling his publisher the gloves are coming off in regard to his ex-boss, Dubya.
Cheney (or “Chuckles” as he’s known to his friends) has stated that the statute of limitations has expired on some of the “secrets” he has been privy to and now it’s time to give the old boss a good reaming.
Dubya, according to Chuckles, “went soft” on him during his second term. Beside the fact this terminology brings up disturbing mental images involving Dubya, Cheney and possibly Viagra, it’s interesting to note Chuckles has decided to turn on his own Frankensteinian creation so soon after they have parted ways.
He now feels free to lament the fact he lost control of the presidency (whoops! I’m sure he means the vice presidency) and harbors a great resentment toward Dubya for not pardoning Chuckles’ right hand man, Scooter Libby, who conveniently came complete with his own nickname. This saved Dubya the trouble of bestowing one on Libby. Karl “Turdblossom” Rove wasn’t so lucky.
So we haven’t heard the last of Cheney, not by a long shot.
Or a close-up, in-your-face-shot either.
The nation has been subjected to more Cheney-isms in the months since the election than it had during the whole Cheney Dynasty, but it will be interesting to see what the two competing memoirs, Cheney’s and Dubya’s, have to say about each other; provided Dubya can learn enough English in the interim to write his.
Therefore, in honor of Mr. Cheney’s newly found voice, I present an artist trading card dedicated to him.
May the force be with you…Dick.