The Subversive Grandma

Well, the kids are ensconced in the living room with their bowls of sugary cereal and the t.v. is tuned to “Wolverine and the X-Men” (we’re way beyond “Blue’s Clues” at this point and into the hard core cartoons), so my work is done for the time being.  Three days and three nights of continuous grandparenting so far this week and two more to go before I get a couple days off for good behavior and then back into it again for another three days.  Oy.

Lately the weather has been giving us all whiplash with the temperature careening from cold and rainy to hot and humid.  Today was supposed to be the latter.  I dreaded getting the kidlets ready for school because I knew that it would require “chapel attire”, meaning they would come home a couple of little sweat boxes by the end of their day.  Chapel attire consists of long-sleeved white shirt, khaki pants, and school color tie for my grandson and long-sleeved white blouse and navy jumper for my granddaughter.

I was helping my granddaughter button her blouse when my radical unorthodox side bubbled up to the surface.  Since I’m basically a non-conformist by nature, I couldn’t help but ask my sweet little kiddo why we needed to button the top button, as she had seriously informed me we must.

“Because it’s chapel day,” she replied, looking up at me with wide eyes as if I had suggested she wear her underpants on her head.

So, heathen grandma that I am, I said “What would happen if we didn’t button it?  Would the church explode?”

She just smiled, but I could see the wheels and gears turning in her mind as she contemplated that subversive thought. 

I’m so naughty.

On another note, today I got my copy of this month’s “Elle” magazine.  I know, I’m so past any semblance of being an elle girl that it’s about as laughable as Liza Minnelli marrying a straight man, but I do enjoy the articles.

One that caught my eye was a piece about a newly named psychological condition known as GD, or Gender Disappointment.  This is the affliction that women have when they can’t seem to conceive any female babies and keep getting pregnant with boys, leading to depression and extreme longings for a daughter. 

Apparently, some women will go to great expense and medical lengths to try to ensure they will have a girl, often with disappointing results.  The article featured one woman who became pregnant with twins and was told one was a boy and one was a girl, only to find out on delivery day that they both were boys.  This was much the same situation for a friend of mine, who already had one little boy and was told she was pregnant with a girl.  After two baby showers with nothing but pink and nine months to envision her little daughter, she was shocked to give birth to another boy.  So much for trusting in sonograms. 

These women in the article can’t imagine that the daughters they so desperately want just may not live up to the hype their mothers hold for them.  Most of the women desired, in essence, their own “living doll” that they could dress in pink and lace, enroll in ballet classes and indulge in tea parties.  They didn’t stop to think the daughter might have other ideas. 

I know I did.

My mother fell into the same category of baby girl lust just like these women and was rudely awakened when I decided to have none of the girly stuff, thank you very much.  I had always figured that this was just a blip on the radar of life for her, but about five years ago I found out it was much more.

We were talking one day about how my granddaughter really enjoyed playing with dolls and loved the color pink when my mother simply stated “I didn’t get the daughter I wanted.”  By that time I was used to hearing such unvarnished truths, but it did hurt a bit to know that my mother was disappointed in the type of girl I couldn’t help but be. 

So in that vein, here is a favorite ATC of mine that covers both my subversiveness and my mother’s GD, all in one package.  How convenient!


5 thoughts on “The Subversive Grandma

  1. Oh my goodness, I wasn’t expecting THAT turn (said the grandmother of FIVE grandsons.) There is always the Ancient Chinese Birth Chart, but I don’t think it guarantees a little princess.

    Celia Rivenbark is a scream, isn’t she! Read her other one, too–Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank. Surely there is something between Skank and buttoning up for chapel. LOL!

    ‘Tis a lucky child that has a non-conformist granny!

    The ATC is soooo clever…!


  2. I felt so badly for the little boys in the article. Some of the mothers practically rejected them. One mother, after having three or four boys, pressured her husband into adopting a girl from Korea. Her marriage dissolved and then she went on to have a daughter with her second husband. The kicker was, neither the adopted daughter nor her biological one had any interest in dolls or “princessy” stuff—much to her dismay. So, none of her kids made her happy like she had hoped they would. Depressing….


  3. Thanks, Merrilymarylee and Natalie! The mother/daughter relationship can be a real minefield sometimes. Good thing I liked to play army with the boys….


Okay. Your turn!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s