Things Not to Say to a Policeman

My son-in-law is a police officer in town and was on duty for the 4th of July holiday weekend.  God bless the stupid people wonderful citizenry out there.  Without them, he would be out of a job.  Here are few examples of what he had to put up with:    

Exhibit A:

Since there was a parade down Main Street, the police had to block off several side streets to through traffic.  SIL was stationed near one of the roadblocks.  Of course, someone drove around it. 

When he stopped the car and told the driver it was illegal to drive around a road block, the driver said: 

“But I was in a hurry.” 

SIL repeated that it was illegal to drive around a roadblock. 

“But I was in a hurry.” 

This exchange continued a few more times. 

Rules, apparently, were made for other people.

Exhibit B:

SIL pulls over speeder in fancy Cadillac going 65 in a 50 mph zone. 

This driver’s excuse(s):

Excuse #1:  “I was just going with the flow of traffic.” 

Reply from SIL:  “Sir, I clocked the traffic around you and you were the only one speeding.”

So the driver tries again.

Excuse #2:  “I’m not from around here.”  (The driver was from Houston.) 

SIL wanted to say “Sir, the speed limit signs aren’t written in Japanese.” 

Of course, being the polite guy he is, he refrained from saying that. 

But he thought it.

Exhibit C:

A four-lane stretch of road that connects two highways runs several miles through the south part of town.  The speed limit is 40 mph, but people often drive much faster than that.  SIL pulled over a speeder, who upon being told he was driving well over the speed limit said:

I didn’t see any signs.” 

SIL had to regretfully inform him that there were a grand total of six signs bearing the 40 mph speed limit between the one highway that the driver exited and just before the other where SIL pulled him over.

With good folks like these, I don’t think we need to worry about job security.

9 thoughts on “Things Not to Say to a Policeman

  1. My girlfriend and I were coming back from a party once with our dates, who were PhD candidates at Duke…smart guys, but not smart enough in ’72 to avoid drinking and driving. When a cop pulled us over for going 45 in a 35, young Pee Aitch Dee responded, “Have you calibrated your instruments lately, ociffer?”

    Oh, brother.


  2. They sure do see it all. One call that he wasn’t on but heard about from another officer involved a very drunk and abusive obese woman outside the local McDonald’s. She was wearing a baby doll pajama top and thong underwear. Shudder….


  3. Wonder if “Do you know my son-in-law?” would work. 🙂 Worth a try.

    Yikes! The McDonald’s disturbance calls for hazard pay. (MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!) Maybe she was mad because she’d been rejected as a model for The Wal-mart People photos.


  4. I have never had an experience with a policeman that was less than polite. I hate the sense of entitlement that some people have that lets them think they can get their own way.


  5. This is only the tip of the iceberg in entitlement thinking. Some people even try the old “do you know who I am?” line, but it gets them nowhere. The real a**holes go to court to try to get out of a ticket, but they’re rarely successful. My SIL has to appear in court also, but it’s just part of the job to him.


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