Up and At ‘Em!

Here’s an excerpt from an interesting article I found at MSNBC.com on the perils of ED drugs like Viagra and Cialis, written by Judith Newman of Prevention magazine. 

She explores these drugs from the viewpoint of women on the…er…”receiving” end of their benefits. 

(I always knew those bathtubs were the Devil’s playground!)   

The problem can be especially daunting for older women who are widowed or divorced or just beginning to date after years of being alone or with one man. Certainly this was the case for Marjorie P., a 60-something woman who complained about the drugs on a 50+ Web site:

“Men have been saved from their middle-age sexual issues by Viagra and Cialis. They can be thirty again, while I have to deal with the sexual issues of being my age. It’s put the world on ’tilt.'”

Andrea D., a twice-divorced physician from Santa Monica, CA, and an over-50 dater, put it more bluntly. “Viagra has been liberating for men, but unless a woman is taking hormone therapy, she may have vaginal dryness and really not be that interested in the kind of driving, pounding intercourse he’s now capable of.”

There is also fallout from the erroneous belief that Viagra causes not just greater blood flow but also greater desire. The hormone testosterone is the driving force behind libido; a man with little or no testosterone will not have any desire to have sex, Viagra or no.

Moreover, even with normal amounts of testosterone, “Viagra does not just instantly give a man an erection,” says Abraham Morgentaler, MD, associate clinical professor of urology at Harvard Medical School and author of The Viagra Myth.

“You have to be in a sexual situation, you need to have desire and intent, in order for the drug to work.”

Dr. Morgentaler tells the story of a patient who was very upset because Viagra didn’t do the trick for him.

“He said, ‘Doc, I followed your directions exactly. I took the pill an hour in advance. Then I watched a baseball game on TV and waited.’ The man’s wife was in the other room, waiting too; neither of them realized that the drug would be effective only if they were together, doing what couples do.”

Adds Andrea, whose own Viagra dating experiences and the experiences of similarly aged friends have ranged from excellent to Emergency Care Needed:

“You have to be crystal clear about what works for you and what doesn’t. Because even with someone you really, really adore … sometimes you just want to get back to reading your book!”

Your thoughts, ladies?  (And gents.)

17 thoughts on “Up and At ‘Em!

  1. there’s a lot more to sex than a raging, blue-steel erection. such as an intellectual connection to a man who realizes there’s more to sex than a raging, blue-steel erection….


    • From a woman’s point of view, yes. I’m lucky in that regard with my husband, but how many oafs are there who even care about an intellectual connection? “Blue-steel erection”—maybe that’s why Viagra comes in a blue pill! LOL


  2. I have to tell you, the warning that I find scary is the one that reminds the pill taker to stop if he starts going blind or deaf.

    I still think that guys should have to get a permission slip from their wives before they’re allowed to get a prescription. Just sayin’. . . !


  3. I figure that this is a medication to treat a sexual dysfunction condition which I also figure is tied pretty much to the male self image. Right or wrong, it serves as a prescription for a psychological condition. In either case, it is not intended to rev up a screwing machine.


  4. I think physicians need to take some responsibility when prescribing these drugs. Much to the horror of the rest of the family, my 94-year-old grandfather was beat up last year by a pimp. But he had to go to the streets to get him some, because his 70-year-old girlfriend wasn’t putting out as often as he wanted. I’m no prude by any means, but honestly!


    • [Picking jaw up off of floor] Whoa! Ninety-four? That IS bizarre. Grandpa needs to get a girly magazine and indulge in a little DIY! (But, then again, maybe his arthritis would kick up…haha)

      Thanks, Layla, for this eye-opener!


  5. I love you for this post!

    First, the ridicule: You know those ads that show the couple’s house gradually turning into a bunch of hard rocks in the middle of a forest stream? Oh, yeah; she’s really tickled to watch her house, her bedroom, her bed be destroyed so she can do it on a rock with some fool whose fantasies indicate he doesn’t give a damn about her enjoyment or comfort. And the guy whose wife gets turned on because he’s eating a sandwich and got a little mayo on his face. The man can’t eat; what kind of turn-on is that? My husband and I just go to town on these things…”It’s those dang sexy sandwiches. Woman just can’t help herself. So then they go sit out on a roof at night in separate cold bathtubs that aren’t hooked up to any plumbing and they think they’re HAPPY about it!”

    Who writes these ads?! Can’t they just have some guy with a gut look straight at a camera and say, “Man, I’m so glad to have my hard-on back.” Why even bother to put women in the ads at all? ‘Cause the wife is the LAST thing it’s all about.

    As for the issues this creates for women, I can tell you that these meds caused a significant rush on my marital therapy practice when they first began to be prescribed and the fun just never stopped. I wish I had research on the number of divorces Viagra was responsible for.

    I’m with Mary Lee, the blind and deaf warnings might be redundant. And, given more time, I’d tell you what I really think about it :^).


    • Thanks, Nance! Yeah, those ads are pretty ridiculous. Especially the one where they’re painting the living room and he decides it’s “fun” time. I think a man who would want to finish painting for his wife is way more sexy!


  6. I just got back from a month in the US where for the first time I saw ads on TV for Viagra. I felt like I was from outer space. There was this guy playing frisbee with his dog on the beach while the announcer talked for 10% of the time on perceived benefits and 90% of the time about all the negative side effects. I’m like, why?


    • I know what you mean. When I hear all those prescription drugs being hawked on t.v., the side effects just go on and on. The ones that get me the most worked up are the drugs for depression. They say that if you experience “confusion or suicidal thoughts” to call your doctor. Now, who the hell is going to have the clarity of mind to do that if they’re confused or suicidal?

      I think it was a big mistake to allow drug companies to advertise their products to the general public. I know doctors really hate it when people come in and demand a certain drug because they’ve been told they need it by some commercial.


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