No, no; you don’t understand! The Rapture doesn’t start in the US until 6:00 Eastern time. I have 45 minutes to get myself right with Jeebus. I’m cleaning my house in anticipation; I won’t be raptured if I’ve got dust bunnies, right?
It’s so hard not to make fun; I’ve given up trying…
I read where some wag has said that he’ll claim he just forgot to “carry the 1” in his calculations. I’m sure we haven’t heard the last of his predictions. I wonder what all those people who lost their life savings will be feeling about this.
The folks who started the company for pets who would be “left behind” cashed in pretty good, from the looks of things. I’m assuming the fee is non-refundable. “No Apocalypse, no returns.”
Thomas, you’re in New Zealand, right? I see you’re still among us. Have you seen any naked Christians being taken up to Heaven today? (With the obesity epidemic in this country, that would not be a pretty sight.)
Hi,
Well it all happened yesterday here in OZ, and it was a bit of a disappointment I must say, I was expecting a few people to start laying out cloths and shoes on the footpath they said in some papers people were going to do this as a bit of a prank, but nothing like that happened here, it was all so, boring really. 🙂
Yeah, really, apart from the volcano erupting in Iceland, it was pretty boring. But, on the bright side, I am glad that we were spared from having to watch nekkid people float through the air. It’s bad enough to see the clothed ones on their scooters at WalMart.
People can’t seem to be happy unless they have someone to look down on. Now that they have to leave the “I’m gonna be raptured and you’re not!” phase, I wonder what is next? Maybe the rapture DID occur… and no one was worth takin’!
Comedian Andy Borowitz, of “The Borowitz Report,” said today that there had been a “Partial Rapture,” with all of the credible Republican presidential candidates vanishing from the face of the Earth, leaving behind “sure fire losers” like Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain. Ha!
Looks like we have an update… the fireball will be coming in October. May 21 was simply when Jesus came to check things out. (Note that He did not appear on FOX news.)
Camping was asked if he felt any regret over the folks who spent so much money of their own to advance his cause. He said he didn’t because he had no “spiritual” authority over them. He went on to say, with a chuckle, that the only person he has spiritual authority over is his wife. Whoa…
I Tried Being Tasteful... 
No, no; you don’t understand! The Rapture doesn’t start in the US until 6:00 Eastern time. I have 45 minutes to get myself right with Jeebus. I’m cleaning my house in anticipation; I won’t be raptured if I’ve got dust bunnies, right?
It’s so hard not to make fun; I’ve given up trying…
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Well, I’m sure I won’t be Raptured anyway, so I say to hell with housework!
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He will have egg covering more than just his face.
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I read where some wag has said that he’ll claim he just forgot to “carry the 1” in his calculations. I’m sure we haven’t heard the last of his predictions. I wonder what all those people who lost their life savings will be feeling about this.
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None were so certain that they signed their life savings over to me…??? 😀
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The folks who started the company for pets who would be “left behind” cashed in pretty good, from the looks of things. I’m assuming the fee is non-refundable. “No Apocalypse, no returns.”
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Yes, there must be a plan B.
Either that, or no one was good enough to make the cut. Not even ol’ Harold.
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Camping has asserted that there is no “Plan B.” Somehow, I’m thinking there is one, and it involves a one-way plane ticket to Bolivia.
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Unfortunately:
Odds of Camping being right: 0%
Odds of someone who believes in what he says figuring out he’s bogus: 0%
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Thomas, you’re in New Zealand, right? I see you’re still among us. Have you seen any naked Christians being taken up to Heaven today? (With the obesity epidemic in this country, that would not be a pretty sight.)
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All quiet here–no piles of clothes have been found lying on the street!
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damn. i had already picked out a new house, hoping those folks were going. really liked that hot tub…
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Here’s a link to a really funny take on the whole thing: “How God is Managing the Rapture.”
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/rapture
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Hi,
Well it all happened yesterday here in OZ, and it was a bit of a disappointment I must say, I was expecting a few people to start laying out cloths and shoes on the footpath they said in some papers people were going to do this as a bit of a prank, but nothing like that happened here, it was all so, boring really. 🙂
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Yeah, really, apart from the volcano erupting in Iceland, it was pretty boring. But, on the bright side, I am glad that we were spared from having to watch nekkid people float through the air. It’s bad enough to see the clothed ones on their scooters at WalMart.
LikeLike
People can’t seem to be happy unless they have someone to look down on. Now that they have to leave the “I’m gonna be raptured and you’re not!” phase, I wonder what is next? Maybe the rapture DID occur… and no one was worth takin’!
LikeLike
Comedian Andy Borowitz, of “The Borowitz Report,” said today that there had been a “Partial Rapture,” with all of the credible Republican presidential candidates vanishing from the face of the Earth, leaving behind “sure fire losers” like Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain. Ha!
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I’m just glad I didn’t clean the house for nothing. I’m still here to enjoy it!
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Yeah, wouldn’t that be a real pain to have just gotten through vacuuming, dusting and mopping and then Jesus shows up?
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Looks like we have an update… the fireball will be coming in October. May 21 was simply when Jesus came to check things out. (Note that He did not appear on FOX news.)
LikeLike
Camping was asked if he felt any regret over the folks who spent so much money of their own to advance his cause. He said he didn’t because he had no “spiritual” authority over them. He went on to say, with a chuckle, that the only person he has spiritual authority over is his wife. Whoa…
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So glad to have found your blog! I’ll be checking back soon for your next witty entry!
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