How Dry I Am

It is soooo dry here in Central Texas.

How dry is it, you say?

Here’s the sad evidence:

And it’s sooo bad that Gov. “Goodhair” Rick Perry has called on the populace to pray for rain—while he’s out campaigning for the job of President which, of course, he says he’s not seeking.

*Wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

And it’s sooo bad that the wildlife around here are getting desperate.  The deer are eating stuff that all the plant gurus say they “never touch.”

Yeah, right.

We’ve had to put plastic buckets over our plants at night because just covering them up with old sheets wasn’t doing the trick.

The deer would pull the sheets off faster than Dominique Strauss-Kahn can drop a hotel towel. 

At least they don’t chase us down the hall.

And the raccoons.  They’re pretty brazen most of the time anyway, but now they’re getting particularly clever.  We have some that have made it a habit to come up onto our front porch and finish off the outside cats’ dry food at night.

Except now, they don’t even wait until dark.  We’re like the drive-thru of McDonalds—open 24/7 for your dining pleasure.

So we took up the food and brought it inside last night in an attempt to foil the crafty critters.  Around 6 o’clock in the evening I peeked out the door.

One of the raccoons was standing there impatiently staring up at me like

“Dude, where’s my Happy Meal?”

And we had a young coon ensconce itself up in the engine compartment of my husband’s truck where it refused to come out.  It was right next to the fan, so operating that vehicle was out of the question until the critter decided to exit—hopefully with all body parts intact.

We left it alone overnight and in the morning he had vacated the premises.

Probably mad that he didn’t get a Continental breakfast and free Wi-fi.

23 thoughts on “How Dry I Am

  1. OMG I’m laughing so hard. That last picture did it. And this line is pure classic, “The deer would pull the sheets off faster than Dominique Strauss-Kahn can drop a hotel towel.” I have a friend that lives in Texas who said she was proud of her just planted flower boxes until she got up the next morning and they were chewed down to the nubs. “Damn Deer!” was all she could say. You need rain, maybe prayin’ for it ain’t such a bad idea, but I think an Indian Rain Dancer might work better.

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  2. Hi,
    Loved the post, and the pictures of the animals had to have a laugh. Sounds like you are having having fun trying to outfox some of them, but seriously it must be a bit of a pain at times.
    It does look very dry where you are, I hope you get some rain soon.

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  3. pray for rain? oh, but asking the local indiginous persons to do a rain dance would never have crossed his mind…

    we had a lot of rain. we now have a lot of hot. something in between would have been nice….

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    • The indigenous persons are probably too busy running their casinos to care what Perry wants. And anyway, at Perry’s upcoming religious revival in August only Christians need apply. So I guess when it does rain, it’ll only fall on the faithful.

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  4. NICE! “The deer would pull the sheets off faster than Dominique Strauss-Kahn can drop a hotel towel.”

    I don’t know TTPT … Governor Sonny Perdue had a day of prayer in hopes of getting rain for the state of GA. I’m here to tell ya – it worked. Hmmm…. Sonny Perdue is not longer Governor. Not sure what he is doing in his spare time – perhaps he can fly over to TX and arrange another day of prayer with Perry.

    I know racoons are bad – I’m reminded of that fact all the time. But they are cute critters! Yeah, I know. They are bad. I told you, I’m reminded of that all the time. *sigh*

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    • Well, Perry’s three days of prayer for rain came and went in April. Not a drop. Maybe God doesn’t cotton to somebody who says “What recession?” during his campaign and then, once elected, announces there’s a 26 billion dollar budget deficit that has to be closed by draconian cuts to education…

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  5. I’ll pray for rain for ya! I was there just a couple of weeks ago and darn – why is there that much humidity in the air and NO RAIN? Just doesn’t make sense. You’d think the humid, moist atmosphere could spare a few drops for the ground.

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  6. I almost snorted iced tea out my nose! I love your sense of humor. Here’s a tip for you. Try spraying your plants with heavily diluted dish soap and immediately sprinkle fine ground black pepper on them. It works like a charm. Although, if it rains you’ll have to do it all over again! HA!

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    • Sorry about your nose, Angelina! I hate it when that happens. We’ve tried the commercial deer repellents (sulphurous egg aroma mixed with other noxious substances) and they’re pretty effective when there’re other things for the deer to eat. But now, with a lot of their natural forage dried up, the stuff doesn’t even bother them. In fact, I think they’ve acquired a taste for it. Kind of like sushi.

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  7. That map is awful! We’re parched here, too. Should have hauled some of that northern snow down here during the winter, maybe. There’s no need for both of our yards to suffer… can I send you some rabbits and squirrels?

    Meant to ask. . . how did you know the raccoon was in the truck engine? Obviously you didn’t find out the hard way. Yech!

    I hope you get rain soon. From what I’ve seen of the Republican debates, you’re right–there is a brain drought, too.

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    • My husband knew there was something in the truck when he spotted a small plastic cap on the ground directly underneath the engine. When he lifted the hood, the raccoon was on top of the engine but scurried down to its hiding place. It had gnawed on some plastic and rubber parts but didn’t seem to have chewed through any wires, luckily.

      As for the rabbits and squirrels, we have those too, but they’re the second string waiting to take the field after the deer and raccoons leave for half time.

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  8. Hope you get some rain soon. God knows you Texans have enough problems with your politicians and deserve a break. (But please God, don’t give any more of their politicians to the whole danged country.)

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    • The long term forecast was promising about a 30% chance of rain next week for two days, but that just means a 70% chance it won’t happen. Most of the time we have better luck forecasting the weather by just looking out the window.

      I agree, this country doesn’t need TWO dumb Texans as President. We haven’t recovered from the first one yet.

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    • They are awfully cute and their little paws are so human-like, it’s hard not to like them. I just don’t want them in my house or the engine compartment of our cars!

      Yes, the fires are really terrible. Our county has cancelled all fireworks displays for the 4th of July and made it illegal to buy or sell any fireworks. There’s always some idiot who’ll do it anyway and that’s how conflagrations get started.

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  9. sent here by a friend..I live in West, Texas(not West Texas but West, by Goddess, Texas) and I don’t have much faith in ole Good Hair Perry praying for rain..if our prayers really worked, he wouldn’t be governor.

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