And You Wonder Why I’m Neurotic…

I went over to my mother’s today to fill up her pill boxes for the week ahead and see if there was anything else she needed.

When I got there, she asked me if I’d been to the gym (since she knows I’ve been going regularly this summer) and I told her I’d just come from an hour yoga class.

She said, “Oh, you’re looking so thin!  Very shapely!”

But before I could get a “thank you” uttered, she followed up with

“Too bad you can’t do something about your stomach.”

Final Score

Mother:  5,746,938

Daughter: 0

 

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36 thoughts on “And You Wonder Why I’m Neurotic…

    • Eh, it’s just par for the course. If I react too much, she’ll just remember that it’s another hot button that can be pressed at a later date. I’m trying to just “observe and not absorb.” It ain’t easy 🙂

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  1. When I got into my twenties I finally understood why my mother and aunts
    would get headaches and clean a lot when my grandmother was around.

    She’d come for a visit, slap sugar all around and compliment them on their beautiful homes (when they’d leave the room she’d look under the fridge) then tell them she had an amazing product to get the slime from underneath. She’d also hug them and tell them how lovely they were, even though they had large feet, funny shaped behinds, or teeth that needed braces when they were eleven.

    I have a cocktail before I visit grandma . . . .

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  2. Hilarious! Moms kind of think they can get away with that stuff, don’t they? Or they have no clue. I let the comments roll off, usually, because the rest of what my mom says is pure delight.

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  3. Ha!
    I can relate.
    I think the ratio for my mother and me runs 19:1 – I’ve lost the actual score.
    We’ve always said she sharpens her tongue in the morning instead of brushing her teeth.

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  4. No wonder so many people walk around wounded! I don’t think some moms realize the power they wield. Oh, we all know not to give them the power, but try to tell that to our inner child as we try to tell it not to take it personally!

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    • I just finished reading “Thank You for Being Such a Pain—Spiritual Guidance for Dealing with Difficult People” by Mark I. Rosen. Got some interesting insights from it, and not giving people power over you was one of them. He mentioned that great quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

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  5. Could we be cousins? Your mother has got to be related to mine. My father’s maternal family was the Mitchells and my father resembled them more than his paternal family. He was a handsome fellow, but my mother didn’t think much of his family. When I was born, I looked just like my mother, Rachel. Then, as I started to grow, I grew taller and thinner as most kids do. My mother looked me up and down with her hands on her hips and warned me, “Don’t you look like those Mitchells!”

    I was like nine. I still can’t figure out how to avoid looking like those Mitchells, but every time I spot a Mitchell trait in the mirror to this day, fifty-five years later, I thoroughly disapprove. Rachel’s been dead ten years. She was pissed at my Dad for their last twenty years together because he appeared to age better than she.

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    • You forget that I’m in Texas, the death penalty capital of the U.S. Here, if you look at a jury cross-eyed, you’ll end up on death row faster than Rick Perry can say “God called me to run for president.”

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  6. I would like to add one more ‘Mother’ story, if I may?

    My sister and I were 4 years apart, she being the older, much wiser, more beautiful, etc. than myself. I was always very envious of her beautiful, long hair, beautiful long fingernails, her many talented ways such as dancing, singing, and being artistic.

    I was always proud to point out all the wonderful features to my friends, and was never ‘jealous’ — but still a little envious.

    So, one day I was drawing (trying for her good artistic ways), and finished with what I thought was quite good. I proudly showed it to my Mother, and her statement was, “that is very nice, but not as good as your sister’s”. I am sure she meant only that I was still young, and would get better (which I never did, LOL), as I got older. That did break my heart at the time — and is something I have never forgotten after all these years — even tho she (my Mother) never did any thing else wrong. In my eyes, she was always the perfect Mother!

    They have now, both passed on and I love and miss them both a lot.

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    • Thank you for sharing that story! It goes to point out that we never know how big the consequences may be from some seemingly minor (to us) action or statement.

      I just have one older brother and no sisters, but I can imagine how difficult it would be to have to live in the shadow of one. It’s great that you still maintained a good relationship with your sister. Thanks for stopping by!

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  7. My mom can pull things like this, too. I have gotten to the point that I don’t even recognize them any more. My husband gets mad for me, as he sees what happened.
    I only hope that I am not doing this to my kids…..how do you know?

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    • I think you’d probably know. An internal alarm would go off that would make you think “OMG, I sound just like my mother.”

      One of my favorite greeting cards has a photo from maybe the 1930’s of an old woman with a sour expression on her face standing in her yard watering with a garden hose. On the inside of the card it says “I’m only here to observe and pass judgment.”

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    • Well, I guess the only way would be to ask yourself if what you’re saying to your kids would be something that would make you feel hurt or bad about yourself if it were said to you. In other words, be conscious of what comes out of your mouth. My mother has never been one to think about the consequences of what she says to me.

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  8. Just came by to check in on your mental health (see comment, above). I see that, so far, Mother is still winning. You’ve got a helluva team here on your side, though!

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  9. Gee, thanks MOM!!! 😉 Isn’t yoga great?

    My mother was not exactly my greatest fan. I feel your pain, and then some. WHat can you do but try to ignore these comments? But hey, you’ve got lots of bloggy fans.

    By the way, I am going to mail out the Hen Haiku contest prizes very soon. Too swamped with work. It’s driving me nuts and interfering with my blogging!

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  10. My mother did the same exact thing to me a few months ago, except I was in the middle of working out when she said it. This coming from a sagging couch potato. It still stung nonetheless.

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