Saw this by Yoni Brenner on The New Yorker website and just had to pass it along:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is faith, the right kind of faith;
Thou knowest, something with Christmas and Easter,
And a normative/non-ethnic Jesus.
Where there are taxes, let me lower them,
Where there are regulations, let me lift them,
Where there are capital gains, let me leave them as is,
For capital gains are awesome,
And what is this, France?
Where there are immigrants, let me deport them;
Where there are gays, let me un-gay them;
And where there are women’s issues, let me sidestep them,
Because, frankly, we’ve really been getting burned on that lately.
Speak, O Divine Master!
Whether directly to my soul or indirectly through Roger Ailes;
Tell me Thy will, and I shall obey it!
Show me Thy path, and I shall follow it!
Unless Thy will involves some form of gun control;
Which, as Thou knowest, is a nonstarter.