Here We Come A-Caroling…

From The Daily Kos and written by Bill from Portland, Maine:

For a jolly good time, substitute these for the originals when you go door-to-door this War-on-Christmas season!

      Dreck from Hallmark
(Apologies to “Deck the Halls”)

Dreck from Hallmark hangs so neatly
Falalalala La La La La
On the bigots’ trees so sweetly
Falalalala La La La La

“Don we now our FUN apparel?
What the hell? What the hell? What…the…hell!

Dreck from Hallmark sucks completely
Falalalala La La…[Facepalm]

                                 

Dear Santa, I can explain...

O Plagiarist!
(Apologies to “O Christmas Tree”)

O Plagiarist! O Plagiarist!
How blatant is thy stealing
O Plagiarist! O Plagiarist!
How ugly and revealing
I point at you—yes you, Rand Paul
You pilfer words and that takes gall
O Plagiarist! O Plagiarist!
How blatant is thy stealing.

handshake

  Firm Handshake
(Apologies to “White Christmas”)

I’m dreaming of a firm handshake
Between Obama and Raul
Just a brief, chance meeting
A short, quick greeting
Would be kinda sorta cool

I’m dreaming of a firm handshake
A nod and smile to be polite
It will be a very odd sight
And will make the Fox News heads ignite.

[Drops mic]
[Throws underpants at audience]
[Gets ushered out of nursing home for terrorizing the residents]

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