Okay, first off, I hate going to our local super-duper market. It’s very nice, with every kind of product known to man, but they intentionally keep the aisles very narrow to trap you in the store so the odds of your buying something on impulse are high.
Compounding that, people invariably leave their carts in the middle of an aisle and wander off. Or they stop in the aisle for an “Old Home Week” conversation with a neighbor they just haven’t seen for ages. If you try to politely go around them, you get a dirty look. Gah.
But, I went today in what I thought would be a “touch and go” operation to pick up my prescription of
happy pills estrogen. Was I wrong.
I don’t know if it was because it was a Saturday or what, but the store was loaded with what appeared to be extras straight out of “Deliverance.”
And then the large woman behind the pharmacy counter greeted me with a glare. Maybe she just suffered from RBF or “resting bitchy face.” Whatevah. I made my purchase and gratefully exited the store.
I’d left my car in an area off to the side of the drive-thru pharmacy where there were a lot of empty spaces around me. Of course, when I came out, there was a car next to the driver’s side of my car.
The woman driver and her hulking lout of a teenager were farting around with their doors wide open. The teenager was leaning against a small dirt bike, with which he effectively blocked my approach. His back was to me, so as I was walking toward him I pressed the unlock button on my key, hoping the beeps and the flashing lights would wake him up to the fact that I needed to get past him to get into my car.
Just as I was behind him he made this godawful hawking noise, drawing from deep down in his sinuses and the back of his throat. I knew what was coming and I was powerless to stop it.
He spat an enormous, thick yellow loogie right in front of me on the ground!
I froze in my tracks. He languidly turned around and mumbled “Sorry.”
As quickly as I could, I dodged around him and practically fell into my car. I fervently hoped that I didn’t step in the gross blob, and I don’t think I did, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to check the bottom of my shoes because at that moment I just wanted to step on the gas and flee.
I think we need a little more chlorine in the gene pool.