Trump Says If There Is Another Civil War He Will Get a New Note from Podiatrist

Satire, from the New Yorker by Andy Borowitz:

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Shortly after tweeting that his impeachment could result in a civil war, Donald J. Trump clarified that, in the event of such a war, he would seek a new note from his podiatrist.

Trump issued the clarification after military advisers cautioned him that, after starting a civil war, he might reasonably be expected to participate in it.

Speaking to reporters on the White House lawn, Trump said, “Much as I would like to fight in a civil war, my very serious foot condition would keep me from doing that.”

Trump said that, although every other part of him was “extremely young and vibrant,” his feet “are in no condition to fight.”

He added, however, that the country should “think very carefully” before engaging in a civil war. “It would be very sad for the United States to have a civil war for the first time in its history,” he said.

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2 thoughts on “Trump Says If There Is Another Civil War He Will Get a New Note from Podiatrist

  1. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Andy Borwitz and regularly repost his stuff on my FB timeline. He makes us laugh at situations that really aren’t very funny, but his material does tend to de-stress us a bit and lighten-up slightly!

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