What a polarizing, divisive speech from President Biden! (Hint: it’s satire)

Satire from The Washington Post, by Alexandra Petri:

Wow. Wow. I couldn’t have been more let down by President Biden’s speech. Yes, I am arguing in good faith; my nose always looks like this! I like it this way so that birds can perch on it and it is harder for me to go through doors without a lot of thought and effort. Of course I remember the past four years! That is why I was so sad about Biden’s address to the joint session of Congress.

It could barely keep Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) awake, and Ted Cruz stays awake during speeches by Ted Cruz. It was so bad that Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.) needed a foil space blanket, for some reason. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) barely clapped. Biden barraged America’s ears by saying so many polarizing, depressing things, like that vaccines were now broadly available or that he wanted prescription drug prices to be lower. Lower! Disgusting.

Where were the olive branches we were promised? Where was the healing? I heard Biden’s promise that he would bring America together, yet he did not a single time pause to give legitimacy to the suggestion that he had stolen the election! He barely urged his supporters to storm any buildings at all, not even their statehouses, or if he did, I missed it, because his tone was so soft and earnest. He said something about “dreamers” that was positive, and he told transgender Americans that he had their back? Seems needlessly polarizing! Where is his outreach to those who want to punish and dehumanize them?

I just miss the days of Donald Trump, when we had a president who helped the nation heal by shouting about carnage. That was a golden age of bipartisanship, if bipartisanship means what I think it means, which is when only my preferences are honored but other people are there as well. Of course Biden has every right to an agenda of his own — so long as it does not in any way conflict with my policy preferences or desires and does not involve any ideas I disagree with. I am ready and willing to cooperate and reach across the aisle to embrace such common-sense ideas as “Joe Biden was not legitimately elected” and “maybe there is too much voting.”

It’s not as though he has nothing to offer us; he is still keeping the refugee cap in place, despite outcry and a promise to fix it. But he certainly didn’t center that in the speech. What a disappointment for me and all the Americans who tuned in hoping for some healing. Wow. Just wow.

I thought the tinfoil was supposed to go on her head.

Okay. Your turn!

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