2

He Sat There Like an Unfeeling Lump Until the Nobel Prize Was Mentioned

“We cannot find a safe place to live… [ISIS] killed my mom. They killed my six brothers. They left behind them.”
— Yazidi activist and Nobel Prize winner Nadia Murad, to Trump in Oval Office

“Where are they now?”
— Trump

“They killed them. They are in the mass grave in Sinjar and I’m still fighting just to live safe in safety. Please do something.”
— Murad

“I know the area very well. We’re going to look into it very strongly…You had the Nobel Prize? That’s incredible. They gave it to you for what reason? Maybe you can explain.”
— Trump

“For what reason?…I didn’t give up. I make it clear to everyone that ISIS raped thousands of Yazidi women.”
— Murad

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1

So, Tell Me. What Do These Two Contribute?

From the Washington Post:

As the uproar over President Trump’s racist remarks demanding four minority Democratic lawmakers “go back [to countries] from which they came” continued to flare Tuesday, the White House prepared to roll out a plan that would detail the type of immigrants the administration wants to admit to the United States. 

That interruption Tuesday is far from the only obstacle White House will face this year as it tries to generate momentum for its new immigration plan, which aims to reorient the current legal immigration system to one based primarily on an immigrant’s ability to contribute to the economy, rather than on family ties.

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Melania Trump’s parents, Amalija Knavs and “Trump stunt double” Viktor Knavs

5

Having Spoken, Brave Yertle the Turtle Went Back Into His Shell

From CNN:

Asked if he would consider it a racist attack if someone told his wife Elaine Chao — who is the US Secretary of Transportation and an immigrant and naturalized US citizen — to go back to her own country, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell sidestepped the question and talked about his support for legal immigration.

“The Secretary of Transportation came here at the age of 8 not speaking a word of English, and has recognized the American dream. This is a process of renewal that’s gone on in this country for a very long time, and it’s good for America. We ought to continue it,” he told reporters.

McConnell continued: “As I said, the legal immigration has been a fulfilling of the American dream. The new people who come here have a lot of ambition, a lot of energy, tend to do very well and invigorate our country. My wife is a good example of that.”

He went on to say President Trump is “not a racist.”

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4

Shades of Mike Pence and “Mother”

From Esquire, by Charles P. Pierce:

Larrison Campbell with the online publication Mississippi Today wrote that she requested to “shadow” Robert Foster to report about his campaign before the Aug. 6 primary, and his campaign director told her Foster wouldn’t ride in a vehicle alone with her because people could insinuate Foster and Campbell are having an affair.

Foster said Wednesday that he won’t be alone with any woman other than his wife, even while working or campaigning, because of the possible public perception that he was doing something to hurt his marriage. He said being alone with a man is no problem. Foster told The Associated Press he has hired women to work for the agricultural tourism business that he and his wife run in northern Mississippi, and that he would hire women staffers if he is elected governor. He said, however: “It’s unprofessional to be alone with a woman who’s not my wife.”

Subsequent to this peculiar announcement, Foster apparently saw an opening among the Bible-bangers because he leapt to the electric Twitter machine to declare himself the bravest of the brave. Political gold, Jerry! From Mississippi Today:

“I am confident that a majority of Mississippians understand that this isn’t about gender discrimination, rather a personal conviction,” Foster told Mississippi Today on Wednesday afternoon. “I am a God-fearing man devoted to my wife and even though having a ride along with me wouldn’t be in itself immoral, the Bible teaches us to refrain from the appearance of impropriety. That’s what I did, and I’m sticking to my guns.”

The groundbreaking documentary, My Penis Terrifies Me: The Robert Foster Story, will be debuting at Cannes next year.

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2

Wow! I Didn’t Know That Either!

From Doonesbury:

  Roland B. Hedley Jr. @RealRBHJr

Source: A happy POTUS texted aides this morning he had “learned a lot” from his speech last night, had no idea that Best Continental Army Ever had taken control of Airports “literally centuries” before the TSA even existed!

1

Remember This? Remember What We Used to Be?

“You can go to live in France, but you cannot become a Frenchman. You can go to live in Germany or Turkey or Japan, but you cannot become a German, a Turk, or Japanese. But anyone, from any corner of the earth, can come to live in America and become an American…Other countries may seek to compete with us; but in one vital area, as a beacon of freedom and opportunity that draws the people of the world, no country on earth comes close. This, I believe, is one of the most important sources of America’s greatness. We lead the world because, unique among nations, we draw our people, our strength, from every country and corner of the world. And by doing so we continuously renew and enrich our nation.”— Ronald Reagan, in his final speech as president

Read it and weep, fellow Americans.

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