From The Hill:
When asked about the intra-party conflict by host John Dickerson on CBS’s “Face the Nation,” Kinzinger said the GOP is “in the middle of this slow sink.”
“Right now, it’s basically the Titanic. We’re like, you know, in this in the middle of this slow sink, we have a band playing on the deck telling everybody it’s fine. And meanwhile, as I’ve said, you know, Donald Trump’s running around trying to find women’s clothing and get on the first lifeboat,” Kinzinger said.
Satire from The New Yorker, by Andy Borowitz:
PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—A defiant Donald J. Trump is urging his supporters to follow him on Facebook Total Landscaping, a new social network he has created.
“Facebook Total Landscaping will be the biggest social network in the world, way bigger than what that loser Zuckerberg came up with,” he said. “No one’s on Facebook.”
Trump said that his new social-media platform, which will operate out of a parking lot outside Philadelphia, will be run by his former attorney Rudolph Giuliani, “so you know it’s going to be terrific.”
“Rudy’s out buying a computer right now,” he said. “He had to replace the one that the F.B.I. took last week.”
Boasting about his social network’s explosive growth, Trump said that he had already friended Donald Trump, Jr., Eric Trump, Ivanka Trump, and Jared Kushner, and was waiting to hear back on a friend request to Melania Trump.
Trump has been adrift during his exile, indecisive, meandering and dawdling. Former CNN White House reporter Jim Acosta put it best by describing the Trump post-presidency as a “sad old Elvis act,” adding, “It’s like he’s an animatronic character, spewing out this stuff all over again like he has a string you pull behind him and replace the batteries when they’re low inside.”
Satire from The Washington Post, by Alexandra Petri:
Wow. Wow. I couldn’t have been more let down by President Biden’s speech. Yes, I am arguing in good faith; my nose always looks like this! I like it this way so that birds can perch on it and it is harder for me to go through doors without a lot of thought and effort. Of course I remember the past four years! That is why I was so sad about Biden’s address to the joint session of Congress.
It could barely keep Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) awake, and Ted Cruz stays awake during speeches by Ted Cruz. It was so bad that Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.) needed a foil space blanket, for some reason. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) barely clapped. Biden barraged America’s ears by saying so many polarizing, depressing things, like that vaccines were now broadly available or that he wanted prescription drug prices to be lower. Lower! Disgusting.
Where were the olive branches we were promised? Where was the healing? I heard Biden’s promise that he would bring America together, yet he did not a single time pause to give legitimacy to the suggestion that he had stolen the election! He barely urged his supporters to storm any buildings at all, not even their statehouses, or if he did, I missed it, because his tone was so soft and earnest. He said something about “dreamers” that was positive, and he told transgender Americans that he had their back? Seems needlessly polarizing! Where is his outreach to those who want to punish and dehumanize them?
I just miss the days of Donald Trump, when we had a president who helped the nation heal by shouting about carnage. That was a golden age of bipartisanship, if bipartisanship means what I think it means, which is when only my preferences are honored but other people are there as well. Of course Biden has every right to an agenda of his own — so long as it does not in any way conflict with my policy preferences or desires and does not involve any ideas I disagree with. I am ready and willing to cooperate and reach across the aisle to embrace such common-sense ideas as “Joe Biden was not legitimately elected” and “maybe there is too much voting.”
It’s not as though he has nothing to offer us; he is still keeping the refugee cap in place, despite outcry and a promise to fix it. But he certainly didn’t center that in the speech. What a disappointment for me and all the Americans who tuned in hoping for some healing. Wow. Just wow.
From The Daily Beast:
Prince Philip was well aware of his status as an outsider in the royal family; the queen mother called him “The Hun” and even dutiful Diana dubbed him “Phil the Greek.” But he had a retort for every occasion. Ian Lloyd, in his book, 100 Chapters in the Life of Prince Philip, recounts an incident when Philip was sailing off the Isle of Wight one year during the sailing regatta, Cowes Week. The skipper of another boat hailed him as ‘Stavros’ and bellowed nautically at him to move out of the way as he had priority. “It’s not Stavros,” shot back Philip, “and it’s my wife’s fucking water, so I’ll do what I fucking well please.”
From The Washington Post, by Michael Gerson:
“Congressional Republicans who criticize Fauci to prove their populist manhood are even more pathetic. Their self-abasement is voluntary. Watching Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) debate science with Fauci during committee hearings is like watching Albert Einstein being disputed by his dry cleaner.
Fauci deserves his Presidential Medal of Freedom just for his heroic forbearance.
All these critics of Fauci have chosen to attack the citadel of science at its strongest point. With squirt guns. While naked and blowing kazoos.”