2

Donald Trump Jr.’s Greatest “Sacrifice”

From the Washington Post:

President-elect Trump and the new first family were at Arlington National Cemetery, where Trump was to lay a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknowns.

“I rarely get emotional, if ever,” Trump Jr. wrote in his new book, “Triggered: How the Left Thrives on Hate and Wants to Silence Us.” “Yet, as we drove past the rows of white grave markers, in the gravity of the moment, I had a deep sense of the importance of the presidency and a love of our country.”

He also had another revelation as he watched his father standing in front of the tomb, surrounded by more than 400,000 graves, listening to the Army Band bugler playing taps: The Trump family had already suffered, he recalled thinking, and this was only the beginning.

“In that moment, I also thought of all the attacks we’d already suffered as a family, and about all the sacrifices we’d have to make to help my father succeed — voluntarily giving up a huge chunk of our business and all international deals to avoid the appearance that we were ‘profiting off the office,’” Trump Jr. wrote.

His framing of the Arlington Cemetery anecdote, in particular, has provoked fervent criticism and accusations of callousness.

“Eight men I served with are buried in Section 60 of Arlington. I visit them monthly,” tweeted Rep. Ruben Gallego (D-Ariz.), who served in the Iraq War. “Even if Donald JR. lived a 1,000 years he will never even get close to being as good and honorable as they were. Sacrifice is only a word to the Trumps.”

The author Matt Gallagher, also an Iraq War veteran, said on Twitter: “Imagine going to Arlington … and being moved to think about money. You are a soup sandwich, @DonaldJTrumpJr, and my friends buried there would tell you the same thing.”

“While comparing himself to soldiers who died fighting for their country, Don Jr. lies saying that they would be ‘giving up … all international deals to avoid the appearance that we were ‘profiting off of the office.’ They’ve done no such thing,” tweeted Robert Maguire, the research director for the Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, one of the plaintiffs suing Trump.

“It’s barely been a week since the company that Don Jr runs, and his father still profits from, made this announcement,” Maguire added, linking to the Trump Organization’s announcement that it would expand its Doonbeg, Ireland, golf course. “Last I checked, Doonbeg is not in the United States.”

Image result for donald trump jr sacrifice

2

High Turnout of Smart Voters in Kentucky Terrifies Rand Paul

Satire, by Andy Borowitz of “The Borowitz Report”:

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Surprisingly high turnout among smart voters in Kentucky on Tuesday has left Senator Rand Paul “terrified and shattered,” one of Paul’s aides has revealed.

As the election returns came in Tuesday night, it became clear that intelligent voters, who had never played a prominent role in any of Senator Paul’s electoral contests, were making their feelings known in unprecedented numbers.

“What we were seeing was huge participation by voters who apparently both consume and comprehend verifiable facts,” the senator’s aide said. “As far as Rand Paul is concerned, this is the doomsday scenario.”

As the night wore on, the aide said, Paul stared at the Kentucky election returns on TV in a near-catatonic state, finally moaning, “Where are all of these smart people coming from, damn it?”

The aide cautioned that it remains to be seen whether the heavy turnout of sentient Kentucky voters is a one-off fluke, but, if it turns out to be a lasting trend, “Rand Paul is going to have to find a dumber state.”

 

Image result for rand paul

2

Gordon Sondland Is the First Guy Who Thinks Serving Donald Trump Doesn’t Mean Going to Jail for Him

From Esquire, by Charles P. Pierce:

“All of our memories need refreshing from time to time. However, if you’re Gordon Sondland, the former U.S. Envoy For Threadbare Alibis, and a small brigade of your colleagues have come before the Congress to say that your previous testimony was a big bag of bullshit, your memory needs about a month at a spa lest you end up cooling your heels in the federal pokey. And, judging by his most recent deposition, released today by the House committees conducting the impeachment inquiry, ol’ Gordon’s memory is so refreshed it ought to be climbing Everest any day now.

Quid.

“I said that resumption of the U.S. aid would likely not occur…

Pro.

…until Ukraine provided…

Quo.

..the public anti-corruption statement that we had been discussing for many weeks.”

Quid pro quo. A Latin phrase that can be translated as, “Game, set, match.”

Making the case that all of them are criminals, that they all were involved in an international conspiracy to bribe and/or extort concessions from the government of Ukraine, including that government’s help in ratfcking the 2020 election, in exchange for military aid that Ukraine desperately needs to help fend off the greedy regime in Moscow, of which this administration is a fairly prominent client state, just got easier. Crooks, all of them, El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago and Rudy Giuliani in particular. Sondland, and former envoy to Ukraine Kurt Volker, whose testimony also was made public on Tuesday, have laid the rest of the bricks in the wall that now circumscribes everything the president* will do.

He’s caught. He knows he’s caught. And, for maybe the first time in his life, and certainly for the first time in his presidency*, nobody’s going to step up and take the fall. Even Giuliani, eventually, will opt for self-preservation and not dying in prison. If you read the transcripts closely—Nice T-shirts the other night, by the way—you also will see the likes of Mark Meadows floundering and flopping around trying to fit what they’re hearing into their previous, spurious narratives. It’s like watching goats ice skate. (Devin Nunes, scourge of Internet ruminants, even brings up The Steele Dossier, because that’s what good lawn ornaments do, too.)

In Gordon Sondland, we see the first guy who doesn’t believe serving this president* entails going to jail for him. Now, he will take his refreshed memory home and sleep the sleep of the partially immune.”

Image result for quid pro quo

3

Trump Celebrates “Oppidite” Day!

From the Washington Post:

“Nervous Nancy Pelosi is doing everything possible to destroy the Republican Party. Our Polls show that it is going to be just the oppidite,” Trump tweeted, intending to say “opposite.” “The Do Nothing Dems will lose many seats in 2020. They have a Death Wish, led by a corrupt politician, Adam Schiff!”

 

Image result for opposites day

2

No More Dinners at Mar-a-Lago For You!

From The Hill:

The conservative Drudge Report on Thursday faced pushback from other conservatives after mocking President Trump over his comment about building a wall in Colorado.

The Drudge Report featured an altered map of the U.S. to include the Mexican border extending up to the border of the Rocky Mountain State, leading to some conservative media observers to pushback on the longtime conservative blog, noting that they think it seems that Matt Drudge, the site’s founder, has seemed to recently sour on the president.

 

In a speech from Pittsburgh on Wednesday, Trump said that he was “building a wall in Colorado” after talking about wall construction in neighboring New Mexico.

“We’re building a wall on the border of New Mexico and we’re building a wall in Colorado, we’re building a beautiful wall, a big one that really works that you can’t get over, you can’t get under and we’re building a wall in Texas. We’re not building a wall in Kansas but they get the benefit of the walls we just mentioned,” said Trump during the speech.

Colorado Gov. Jared Polis (D) mocked Trump for his comments.

“Well this is awkward … Colorado doesn’t border Mexico,” Polis wrote in a Facebook post on Wednesday.

“Good thing Colorado now offers free full day kindergarten so our kids can learn basic geography,” he added.

2

Bwahaha! As If He Even Reads…

From Politico:

The White House said Tuesday it will not be renewing subscriptions to The New York Times and The Washington Post, two papers the president frequently attacks as “fake” and which he suggested canceling the previous night in a TV appearance.

Monday on Fox News’ “Hannity,” President Donald Trump called the Times “a fake newspaper” and said “we don’t even want it in the White House anymore.”

“We’re going to probably terminate that and The Washington Post,” Trump said. “They’re fake.”

Image result for trump reading

4

Oh, Mick. He’s the President of the Effing United States, Not the Trivago Guy.

From the Washington Post:

“He was honestly surprised at the level of pushback,” Mulvaney said on “Fox News Sunday.” “At the end of the day, he still considers himself to be in the hospitality business, and he saw an opportunity to take the biggest leaders from around the world and he wanted to put on the absolute best show, the best visit that he possibly could, and he was very comfortable doing it at Doral.”

Image result for trivago guy

 

1

Trump Offers Freed ISIS Fighters a Group Rate at Trump Doral Resort

Satire from The Borowitz Report, by Andy Borowitz:

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “once-in-a-lifetime incredible deal,” Donald Trump on Friday offered recently-escaped Isis fighters a group rate at the Trump National Doral Miami.

“I am giving Isis a group rate that entitles them to the full run of the golf course, the spa, you name it,” he said. “This is going to make the Isis people very, very happy.”

The fighters can qualify for the group rate by presenting proof of Isis membership and their recently freed status, Trump said.

Trump declined to say whether he would extend the same group rate to Kurdish fighters in Syria. “I’m not a fan of the Kurds,” he said. “Where were the Kurds in 1776 when George Washington took control of the British airports?”

Shortly after Trump made the offer to Isis, however, the group’s leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, issued a lukewarm response.

“We’ve read some not-so-great things about the Doral on TripAdvisor,” Baghdadi said. “If we wanted to go to a golf resort, we’d pick one that doesn’t have bedbugs.”

 

Image result for doral bed bugs