GOP Says: Oil, Schmoil

Whiplash inducing quote of the day from the GOP during the House questioning of BP’s Tony Hayward on the Gulf disaster:  

“But Rep. Parker Griffith, R-Ala., offered counterpoint to the waves of criticism of BP.

He suggested that cigarette smoking, not the BP oil spill, was the nation’s worst environmental catastrophe.

“This is not going to be the worst thing that’s ever happened to America,” Griffith said.

As of Thursday morning, the BP well has gushed between 66 million and 120 million gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico, based on government daily spill rate figures.

Absolutely, Rep. Griffith!  It’s all those discarded cigarette butts floating ashore that are creating this catastrophe.  Why, just yesterday I saw a Pelican with a Virginia Slims hanging out of its beak.  Shocking, just shocking…


Extreme Makeover: Texas Edition

So Willie Nelson finally cut off his iconic waist-length braids.  

He went from this:

To this:

His spokespeople are saying the braids required “a lot of maintenance.”

Already wags are suggesting that Willie’s newly shorn braids should be used to plug up the disastrous BP oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico. 


I dunno, it could work….


Where Are the Grown-ups?

Quotes of the day about the BP oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico:


“We’re now looking at a scenario where response plans include lighting the ocean on fire, pouring potent chemicals into the water, and using trash and human hair to stop the flow of oil,” said Michael Brune, executive director of the Sierra Club, in a letter to President Barack Obama calling for a formal moratorium on new offshore drilling permits. “If this is the backup plan, we need to rethink taking the risk in the first place.”

“It’s anger at the people who are supposed to be driving the ship (who) don’t have any idea what’s going on,” said E.J. Boles, 55, a musician from Big Pine Key, Fla. “Why wouldn’t they have any contingency plan? I’m not a genius and even I would have thought of that.”

“Everything in that marsh is dead as we speak,” Plaquemines Parish President Billy Nungesser said after touring the clogged marshes. “Had you fallen off that boat yesterday and come up breathing that stuff, you probably wouldn’t be here, either.”