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Trump Says If There Is Another Civil War He Will Get a New Note from Podiatrist

Satire, from the New Yorker by Andy Borowitz:

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Shortly after tweeting that his impeachment could result in a civil war, Donald J. Trump clarified that, in the event of such a war, he would seek a new note from his podiatrist.

Trump issued the clarification after military advisers cautioned him that, after starting a civil war, he might reasonably be expected to participate in it.

Speaking to reporters on the White House lawn, Trump said, “Much as I would like to fight in a civil war, my very serious foot condition would keep me from doing that.”

Trump said that, although every other part of him was “extremely young and vibrant,” his feet “are in no condition to fight.”

He added, however, that the country should “think very carefully” before engaging in a civil war. “It would be very sad for the United States to have a civil war for the first time in its history,” he said.

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Just…Wow.

From the Washington Post:

“I would tell you that Robert E. Lee was an honorable man,” Kelly told Ingraham. “He was a man that gave up his country to fight for his state, which 150 years ago was more important than country. It was always loyalty to state first back in those days.  Now it’s different today. But the lack of an ability to compromise led to the Civil War, and men and women of good faith on both sides made their stand where their conscience had them make their stand.”

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Didn’t Trump say something similar about “I’m sure there are good people on both sides” when he was talking about the Charlottesville white supremacist march?

And it seems to me, but I may be wrong here, that “the lack of an ability to compromise” was not the biggest problem leading up to the Civil War. Either one believes that “all men are created equal” or one doesn’t. There is no compromise on that, Gen. Kelly.

 

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He’ll Ask Frederick Douglass About It.

From ThinkProgress:

It’s not unusual for an American president to try and learn from this nation’s history. But the lessons that President Donald Trump has apparently drawn from his studies border on the surreal.

“People don’t realize, you know, the Civil War, if you think about it, why?” he said. “People don’t ask the question, but why was there the Civil War? Why could that one not have been worked out?”

Many people do ask why the Civil War took place, and its causes are among the most thoroughly documented and analyzed subjects in American history. Its root cause was the Confederate states’ desire to preserve slavery, as Confederate leaders acknowledged at the time. The subject of slavery receives extensive treatment at the National Museum of African American History, which Trump visited in February; it’s unclear how much information the president absorbed from his trip.

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