From The New Yorker:
Judd Legum @JuddLegum
I fixed Comey’s letter
Dan Diamond @ddiamond
Right now at DNC: The 42nd president of the United States.
This time last week: The general manager of Trump Winery.
From The Daily Kos–written by Bill in Maine
[Hooray!] [Dammit!] [Meh.] My candidate [won] [lost] the Iowa caucus last night, and I am so [thrilled] [pissed] [zen] about it I could [kiss a wookie] [chew through drywall] [go back to bed].
Even though the deciding factor was [turnout] [turnout] [turnout], you can’t ignore the impact of [visiting all 99 counties] [appearing to enjoy wolfing down greasy diner food five times a day] [promising to award the Iowa State Fair butter cow a Medal of Freedom from the Oval Office] in the final tally.
Meanwhile the Republican contest was absolutely [batshit] [synonym for batshit] [another synonym for batshit]. I mean, seriously—holy [cow] [mother of God] [cheese ‘n rice], they really settled on [him] [her] [that]?!! Good luck in the general with your views on gutting [Social Security] [Medicare] [Obamacare] [women’s rights] [voting rights] [LGBT rights] [minority rights] [environmental laws] [consumer protections] [all of the above], ya big jerk.
As usual, the media was of [big help] [little help] [no help] in the run-up to the caucus, and the [most] [least] insightful lesson I learned from their [polling] [pundit roundtable] [chicken-innards reading] analysis was [“Whoever’s ahead will be in the lead”] [“The candidates are playing to win”] [“This is excellent news for John McCain”].
Next stop: the New Hampshire primary. I [can’t wait] [can wait] [would like you to please pass me the bong].
I read this at the Washington Post and thought it bears repeating here. It’s written by Christopher Hahn, a Democratic consultant and Fox News (gasp) contributor:
Those of you who know anything about me know I love a good debate. I love intelligent conversation about politics and the issues facing the nation. Today I am drawing a line in the sand that shouldn’t even be necessary. If you insist on questioning the legitimacy of President Obama I will no longer respond to you. Enough is enough. Go away, you have no place in the national conversation.
This includes referring to him as follows: “Your President,” “The Democrats’ President” or using the conservatives’ weird illiterate slur calling him the “Democrat Party President” and any other attempt to say he’s not legitimately our president. Let me give a special shoutout to the “president” that I‘ve been getting a lot on Facebook and Twitter. That one has to stop for a variety of reasons. I understand that conservatives hate science and math, but do they also oppose grammar?
Get over it conservatives. He was elected by a majority of the popular vote twice. The last president to accomplish that was Ronald Reagan and he did that even after he raised taxes twice in his first term. For the record, Obama has never raised taxes on anyone. President Obama won nine of 10 competitive contests. His party picked up seats in the U.S. Senate and the House of Representatives. He won, he’s the president. If you want to argue with me about Obamacare, Benghazi, or sequester, then have at it. But save your quotes for appropriate purposes. “I’ve had it!”
Look, I know you’re upset that the 2010 election of conservative governors in swing states didn’t help keep Obama voters from the polls in 2012. I’m sure you thought long lines would deter lazy liberals. I know you had your heart set on Donald Trump’s October surprise. I bet you thought the tea party was an enduring movement and that voter ID laws would scare Latinos and students. It turns out the only state that worked in was Texas, and Texas wasn’t in play this year. It will be in 2016, I hope you enjoy fighting for that one; it’s blue by 2020 unless you make drastic changes to your platform.
So here’s my advice to my many conservative friends, family and followers: get over it. Acceptance is the final stage of grief and its time you come to terms with the election of our president and the end of your party as a national force. The sooner you do that, the quicker you can rebuild. America needs at least two parties having a legitimate debate on the issues. The ridiculous demonization of the president’s legitimacy hurts everyone. Please stop.