2

Gordon Sondland Is the First Guy Who Thinks Serving Donald Trump Doesn’t Mean Going to Jail for Him

From Esquire, by Charles P. Pierce:

“All of our memories need refreshing from time to time. However, if you’re Gordon Sondland, the former U.S. Envoy For Threadbare Alibis, and a small brigade of your colleagues have come before the Congress to say that your previous testimony was a big bag of bullshit, your memory needs about a month at a spa lest you end up cooling your heels in the federal pokey. And, judging by his most recent deposition, released today by the House committees conducting the impeachment inquiry, ol’ Gordon’s memory is so refreshed it ought to be climbing Everest any day now.

Quid.

“I said that resumption of the U.S. aid would likely not occur…

Pro.

…until Ukraine provided…

Quo.

..the public anti-corruption statement that we had been discussing for many weeks.”

Quid pro quo. A Latin phrase that can be translated as, “Game, set, match.”

Making the case that all of them are criminals, that they all were involved in an international conspiracy to bribe and/or extort concessions from the government of Ukraine, including that government’s help in ratfcking the 2020 election, in exchange for military aid that Ukraine desperately needs to help fend off the greedy regime in Moscow, of which this administration is a fairly prominent client state, just got easier. Crooks, all of them, El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago and Rudy Giuliani in particular. Sondland, and former envoy to Ukraine Kurt Volker, whose testimony also was made public on Tuesday, have laid the rest of the bricks in the wall that now circumscribes everything the president* will do.

He’s caught. He knows he’s caught. And, for maybe the first time in his life, and certainly for the first time in his presidency*, nobody’s going to step up and take the fall. Even Giuliani, eventually, will opt for self-preservation and not dying in prison. If you read the transcripts closely—Nice T-shirts the other night, by the way—you also will see the likes of Mark Meadows floundering and flopping around trying to fit what they’re hearing into their previous, spurious narratives. It’s like watching goats ice skate. (Devin Nunes, scourge of Internet ruminants, even brings up The Steele Dossier, because that’s what good lawn ornaments do, too.)

In Gordon Sondland, we see the first guy who doesn’t believe serving this president* entails going to jail for him. Now, he will take his refreshed memory home and sleep the sleep of the partially immune.”

Image result for quid pro quo

3

Trump Celebrates “Oppidite” Day!

From the Washington Post:

“Nervous Nancy Pelosi is doing everything possible to destroy the Republican Party. Our Polls show that it is going to be just the oppidite,” Trump tweeted, intending to say “opposite.” “The Do Nothing Dems will lose many seats in 2020. They have a Death Wish, led by a corrupt politician, Adam Schiff!”

 

Image result for opposites day

2

No More Dinners at Mar-a-Lago For You!

From The Hill:

The conservative Drudge Report on Thursday faced pushback from other conservatives after mocking President Trump over his comment about building a wall in Colorado.

The Drudge Report featured an altered map of the U.S. to include the Mexican border extending up to the border of the Rocky Mountain State, leading to some conservative media observers to pushback on the longtime conservative blog, noting that they think it seems that Matt Drudge, the site’s founder, has seemed to recently sour on the president.

 

In a speech from Pittsburgh on Wednesday, Trump said that he was “building a wall in Colorado” after talking about wall construction in neighboring New Mexico.

“We’re building a wall on the border of New Mexico and we’re building a wall in Colorado, we’re building a beautiful wall, a big one that really works that you can’t get over, you can’t get under and we’re building a wall in Texas. We’re not building a wall in Kansas but they get the benefit of the walls we just mentioned,” said Trump during the speech.

Colorado Gov. Jared Polis (D) mocked Trump for his comments.

“Well this is awkward … Colorado doesn’t border Mexico,” Polis wrote in a Facebook post on Wednesday.

“Good thing Colorado now offers free full day kindergarten so our kids can learn basic geography,” he added.

2

Bwahaha! As If He Even Reads…

From Politico:

The White House said Tuesday it will not be renewing subscriptions to The New York Times and The Washington Post, two papers the president frequently attacks as “fake” and which he suggested canceling the previous night in a TV appearance.

Monday on Fox News’ “Hannity,” President Donald Trump called the Times “a fake newspaper” and said “we don’t even want it in the White House anymore.”

“We’re going to probably terminate that and The Washington Post,” Trump said. “They’re fake.”

Image result for trump reading

4

Oh, Mick. He’s the President of the Effing United States, Not the Trivago Guy.

From the Washington Post:

“He was honestly surprised at the level of pushback,” Mulvaney said on “Fox News Sunday.” “At the end of the day, he still considers himself to be in the hospitality business, and he saw an opportunity to take the biggest leaders from around the world and he wanted to put on the absolute best show, the best visit that he possibly could, and he was very comfortable doing it at Doral.”

Image result for trivago guy

 

1

Trump Offers Freed ISIS Fighters a Group Rate at Trump Doral Resort

Satire from The Borowitz Report, by Andy Borowitz:

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “once-in-a-lifetime incredible deal,” Donald Trump on Friday offered recently-escaped Isis fighters a group rate at the Trump National Doral Miami.

“I am giving Isis a group rate that entitles them to the full run of the golf course, the spa, you name it,” he said. “This is going to make the Isis people very, very happy.”

The fighters can qualify for the group rate by presenting proof of Isis membership and their recently freed status, Trump said.

Trump declined to say whether he would extend the same group rate to Kurdish fighters in Syria. “I’m not a fan of the Kurds,” he said. “Where were the Kurds in 1776 when George Washington took control of the British airports?”

Shortly after Trump made the offer to Isis, however, the group’s leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, issued a lukewarm response.

“We’ve read some not-so-great things about the Doral on TripAdvisor,” Baghdadi said. “If we wanted to go to a golf resort, we’d pick one that doesn’t have bedbugs.”

 

Image result for doral bed bugs

4

If You Believe This Load of Crap, I Have a Bridge I’d Like to Sell You

From CNN:

White House acting chief of staff Mick Mulvaney announced during a White House press briefing that the 2020 G7 summit will be held at Trump National in Doral, Florida, from June 10-12.

Mulvaney defended hosting the 2020 G7 at Doral, saying that Trump will not be profiting in “any way, shape or form.”

He also acknowledged that he has heard claims that by hosting the G7 there it already creates profit by highlighting the resort.

“I’ve heard that before … I would simply ask you all to consider the possibility that Donald Trump’s brand is already strong enough on its own,” he claimed.

Mulvaney also defended claims when asked what the difference is between this and Trump’s accusations that Hunter Biden profited off his father’s name.

“First of all, there’s no profit here. Clearly, there’s profit with the Bidens,” Mulvaney said, adding: “The Trump family made their money before they went into politics, that’s a big difference.”

 

Image result for trump doral resort

What an athlete.