6

So, God Was the Hitman?

Forget about the conspiracy theories that said President Obama had Justice Scalia bumped off.

In reality, it was someone much “higher up.”

Glenn Beck believes that God brought about the death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia in order to encourage Americans to vote for Ted Cruz.

On Tuesday, the conservative radio host and Cruz supporter assumed the voice of God to explain to listeners how Scalia’s death was a divine wake up call for conservatives.

“I couldn’t help, but wonder, why? Why now? Why did you have to take Antonin now?” Beck’s co-host Pat Gray asked on the broadcast.

Beck, calling into the show from outside a church in Boston, said: “You know, I was listening to you guys, and I just want to say, Pat, I think I have an answer for you on that.”

Beck then took on the voice of the Lord: “I just woke the American people up. I took them out of the game show moment and woke enough of them up to say, ‘Look how close your liberty is to being lost,'” he said.

“The Constitution is hanging by a thread. That thread has just been cut. And the only way that we survive now is if we have a true constitutionalist (as president),” Beck said.

5

Well, He Got It in an Email So It Must Be True…

Ben Carson referenced a line he said came from Joseph Stalin, a quote that’s believed to have gained prominence as a conservative social media meme, during his closing statement at Saturday night’s Republican debate.

“Joseph Stalin said if you want to bring America down you have to undermine three things — our spiritual life, our patriotism, and our morality,” Carson said, puzzling some observers, who couldn’t quite place the remark.

And for good reason. The mythbusters at Snopes.com, in a recently updated review, state that the line, which Carson is reported to have used before, have little evidence to back up that it came from Stalin. The CNN Reality Check team rated its attribution to Stalin as “false.”

And he probably believed this one too:  “Sixteen girls impregnated in swimming pool.”

genepool.jpg

3

Give. Me. A. Break.

“Republican presidential hopeful Jeb Bush says President Obama has missed out on the opportunity to promote his family as a model for others to follow.

Bush on Friday told the Faith and Family Presidential Forum at Bob Jones University that a strong family is the best way to fight poverty.

“This is a place where I think President Obama missed a real golden opportunity, because he has a stable family, loving children – great, balanced children from what I can tell – a strong relationship with his wife, and he could have shown that as a model for others to emulate,” he said, according to CNN. “And I don’t think he’s done it as much.”

The former Florida governor said the “public persona of the presidency has power” to influence the behavior of the public.”

Sure. When the Republican Neanderthals make “jokes” about Mrs. Obama’s appearance and kvell about the “inappropriate” clothing of Malia and Sasha. Or how they should be more respectful at the annual pardoning of the Thanksgiving turkey.

Yeah. We need more of that.

3

Well, Wasn’t That Convenient?

From a phone call with the Oregon wildlife refuge terrorists:

Earlier on the call, the occupiers sounded concerned that the FBI planned to move in Wednesday night and that it would lead to their deaths. At times, they seemed to fatalistically embrace that outcome.

When one woman — presumed to be Fiore — asked two of them about their families, a man responded, “God has put us on this path. Our families are already taken care of; they weren’t in our lives much before all this because God made sure we didn’t have that to weigh us down so that we could do this.”

Sounds to me like a good excuse to be a crappy father.

5

Lies and the Lying Liar Who Tells Them

From professional weasel, Ted Cruz:

“We are one justice away from the Supreme Court ordering ten commandments monuments taken down at courthouses and city halls throughout this country,” he said.

“We are not far away from them ordering the chisels to come out to take off the crosses and the Stars of Davids on the tombstones of our fallen soldiers.”

He also said a liberal majority of justices would order “veterans’ memorials to be torn down over this country,” give up America’s national “sovereignty to the United Nations and the World Court,” and nix the Second Amendment right to bear arms, as well as push a liberal agenda on abortion.

“We are one justice away from the Supreme Court striking down every restriction on abortion and mandating unlimited abortion-on-demand up until the moment of birth, partial birth with taxpayer funding and no notification,” Cruz said.

“This issue is huge in the next election.”

6

How Many Babies Have You Had, Father Pavone?

From CNN regarding the Zika crisis:

In December, authorities in Brazil urged women not to get pregnant. Then last month came the warning from Colombia to delay pregnancy until July. Then in an interview, a health official in El Salvador recommended that women “try to avoid getting pregnant this year and the next.”

Does this mean couples in these largely Catholic countries should abstain from sex for two years? Or should they use so-called “natural family planning”? The method, which involves a woman monitoring her basal body temperature and vaginal secretions to avoid having sex at fertile times of the month, has a 25% failure rate, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Or, because of Zika, should couples use more effective methods of birth control?

So far, the church hierarchy has remained silent on these questions.

The Catholic catechism states that besides “natural family planning,” anything else that works to “‘render procreation impossible’ is intrinsically evil.”

The Rev. Father Frank Pavone, national director of Priests for Life, said that means birth control is wrong no matter what. “That prohibition doesn’t change based on circumstances,” he said. “So couples have a responsibility to live according to the church’s teachings in whatever circumstances they find themselves.”

Bullshit