My Mother, the Competitor

Quick note from the Eldercare Underground: Trash talking edition

I stopped by The Hotel for a brief visit today to drop off some laundry for my mother and also a twelve-pack of the Boost energy drink her doctor has her taking twice a day. 

When I gave the RN at the nurses’ desk the Boost, the aide seated next to her pointed to the dining room and said, “Your mother is in there having a cup of coffee.” 

It was about 3:30—too early for dinner, so she was in there of her own volition. 

I blurted out, “That’s a shock!” and we all laughed.

It turns out the manager had her and some other ladies play some kind of game and my mother won a pretty glass photo frame.  I asked her what she had to do to win, but all she could come up with was that she had to say a number when she was asked to by Sandra, the manager. 

I think probably everyone won a prize at some point in the game.  Kind of like how little kids get “Participant” trophies. 

Everybody wins!  Yay!

We took it back to her room and then she proceeded to run down her competition.

“There were four other ladies, and I think they’re all really dumb.  They didn’t know their asses from third base.”

Then she said, “Who used to say that?” 

I replied, “Dad did.” 

“Oh, yeah, that’s right.”

Then she said that the women didn’t know what they were doing most of the time. 

Her next observation made me chuckle to myself since she’s most likely several years older than that “Gang of Four”:

“I hope if I get to be that old, I’m not in koo-koo land like they are.”

At least she knows where her ass is. 


ASS, MEET.....