4

Oy Vey. She’s At It Again.

When I posted my annual “Michele Bachmann Halloween Cartoon” I thought that it was essentially a blast from the past. But it seems batshit crazy goes on forever.

Here is a quote from the queen of batshit crazy in a radio interview with fellow batshit crazy Tony Perkins with whom she went on a tour of Israel.

She’s talking about converting as many Jews as possible because, apparently, The End Times are upon us.

“We recognize the shortness of the hour,” Bachmann says. “And that’s why we as a remnant want to be faithful in these days and do what it is that the Holy Spirit is speaking to each one of us, to be faithful in the Kingdom and to help bring in as many as we can — even among the Jews — share Jesus Christ with everyone that we possibly can because, again, he’s coming soon.”

Bachmann also says that “the prophets longed to see the days that you and I live in.”

Her takeaway from the trip, she says, is “that the Jewish state of Israel truly is a miracle of the hand of God.”

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14

Under the Bed and On the Market

Note from the Eldercare Underground: 

     Muscle relaxants and real estate deals edition

Well, it’s been an interesting week. 

Last Sunday my daughter phoned and said that she’d been to visit my mother at The Hotel (retirement center) and found that my mother had fallen again the day before. 

Only this time she’d somehow managed to land partly underneath her bed.

She told my daughter that she was okay—just some rug burn on her elbow and was only a little skeevy in the mid-back area.  But my daughter thought (correctly) that I should know about it, so I went over to see what was going on.

When I got there I got the same story from my mother and the same reassurances that everything was fine.  No problemo, not to worry.  She said the nurses had checked her out and didn’t find anything broken or out of whack, so I figured everything was under control.

On Thursday I stopped by around 1:00 and found my mother changing her clothes.  She said they’d made a doctor’s appointment for her for 2:00 and she needed to get ready.  Nobody had phoned me about it so I asked the manager what was up and she said my mother had been complaining about back pain and had only sporadically been coming to the dining room for her meals. 

I’m glad I just happened to be there because sending my mother off to a doctor’s appointment under her own recognizance would be like electing Michele Bachmann president—in other words, a disaster.

So I went with her and the doctor thought her back pain was mainly from muscle spasms, so she prescribed a “non-sedative” muscle relaxant, to be given twice a day as needed and authorized a request for the physical therapist to do an evaluation.

I phoned today and the manager, Sandy, said that my mother was still having her breakfasts in her room, but she was going to try to get her to move around more and come to the dining room for her other meals. 

The jury is still out on that for the time being, so we’ll have to see.

And today, I listed her home of the last twelve years for sale.

My husband had the Herculean task of cleaning the place up to get it ready, and I have to give him kudos for a job well done. 

My mother wouldn’t let us do much (if any) cleaning for her and consequently the place, especially the kitchen, had well-worn paths of grime and sticky, bacony (if there is such a word related to bacon grease) surfaces that resisted industrial strength cleaners.  The stove and range in her kitchen ended up in the metal recycling bin at the landfill, so you can just imagine.

But he prevailed and you can see the results in the photos below.  Most of her furniture either has gone to immediate family members or was taken over to her new digs at The Hotel, so the place is a bit sparse but still pretty attractive since it reflects a lot of the charm of the 1910 era home that it is.

Click to enlarge and you can see the dents in the roof from the softball-size hail storm circa 1948.

(Click to enlarge) The Van Gogh "Sunflowers" on the wall is crewel needlework that I did for my mother for Christmas 1970. (No way would I have the patience to do that now.)

(Click to enlarge) The two oil paintings here in the kitchen were done by talented friends of my mother's.

(Click to enlarge) The oil painting on the left is one my mother did and the watercolor on the right (kind of obscured by the reflection) is one I did of my parents' last home together in Laguna Beach, CA.

4

Move Over, Herman

Oh, that Andy Borowitz.  God love ‘im.  He’s got to be my favorite humorist and commentator on politics and the absurdity of modern life.

We’ve all heard about Herman Cain’s “9-9-9” plan.

Michele Bachmann smilingly said that, upside down, it’s the mark of the beast.

Jon Huntsman lamely quipped that it’s the price of a pizza.

Now, here’s Andy in the Borowitz Report today on Rick Perry’s plan:

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Elsewhere, Texas Governor Rick Perry announced what he called his “1-1-1” plan:

“Every American gets 1 percent tax, 1 mandatory vaccination, and 1 execution.”

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4

“Trick or Treat!”…Your Papers, Please

I know I’ve posted this cartoon of mine before, but with Mrs. Bachmann doing sooo well in the Republican presidential polls, I thought it was worth another visit.

Especially this time of year, when the scariest Halloween creatures are the ones we saw the other night sitting around that big round table.  Brrrr….

14

Bachmann’s Campaign Donations Drying Up Faster Than Her Ovaries

Here’s Michele Bachmann’s latest campaign video, shot next to a plastic plant that looks like something out of “The Addams Family” (remember Cleopatra, the meat-eating plant?) and done without a lapel mic so the sound resembles two tin cans with a string attached.  Enjoy!