2

He STILL Doesn’t Get It.

“I didn’t know if there was any credibility, I didn’t know if there was anything behind it, I can’t vouch for the information,” Trump Jr. said speaking to Fox News host and outspoken Trump supporter Sean Hannity during an interview set to air at 10 p.m. Tuesday. “Someone sent me an email. I can’t help what someone sends me. I read it, I responded accordingly.”

He added: “It was literally just a wasted 20 minutes, which was a shame.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, for someone who is supposedly “high-quality” and intelligent enough to run the Trump Grifter Empire, is DJT, Jr. incredibly dense or is it just me?

Does he really not understand that you don’t go to meetings with a known adversarial foreign power who has professed an interest in helping your father win a presidential election? It’s kind of like when George Costanza was called out by his boss for having sex with the cleaning lady on his desk. “Was that wrong?”

1

Donald Trump, Jr. Joins the Pantheon of Famously Clueless Quotes

“I’m just glad it’ll be Clark Gable who’s falling on his face and not Gary Cooper.” — Gary Cooper, on his decision not to take the leading role in Gone With The Wind.

“Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?” — H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.

“Louis Pasteur’s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.” — Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872.

“Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.” — Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.

“If it’s what you say I love it.” Donald Trump Jr.’s response indicating that he accepted the meeting with the Russian government lawyer in order to collude.

And then there’s this spot-on quote of the day:

Image result for wrong-headed

9

If “Pizzagate” Wasn’t Weird Enough For You…

…we now have child sex-slaves on Mars.

From The Washington Post:

The situation for human beings on Mars is dire, and not just because the red planet’s atmosphere is mostly carbon dioxide and the average temperature is -81 degrees.

There’s also the issue of the child-trafficking ring operating in secret on the planet 33.9 million miles from earth, according to a guest on the Alex Jones Show.

“We actually believe that there is a colony on Mars that is populated by children who were kidnapped and sent into space on a 20-year ride,” Robert David Steele said Thursday during a winding, conspiratorial dialogue with Jones about child victims of sex crimes. “So that once they get to Mars they have no alternative but to be slaves on the Mars colony.”

NASA did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

But Guy Webster, a spokesman for Mars exploration at NASA, told the Daily Beast that rumors about live humans on Mars are false.

“There are no humans on Mars,” he said. “There are active rovers on Mars. There was a rumor going around last week that there weren’t. There are, but there are no humans.”

Image result for mars sex slaves

1

Newt Gingrich—Windbag Extraordinare

From CNN:

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich said Friday that it’s impossible for President Donald Trump to obstruct justice because of the fact that he’s president.

“Technically, the President of the United States cannot obstruct justice,” Gingrich said at the National Press Club in an event to promote his new book, “Understanding Trump.” “The President of the United States is the chief executive officer of the United States. If he wants to fire the FBI director, all he’s got to do is fire him.”However, Gingrich himself has in the past voted to impeach a president over such charges. While speaker of the House, Gingrich voted in 1998 to impeach President Bill Clinton on charges of obstruction of justice and perjury.

Image result for newt gingrich windbag
2

Ass Kissing in King Lear’s Cabinet

From The Washington Post, by Alexandra Petri:

President Trump responded to the news that the Public Theater was putting on a defiant production of “Julius Caesar” by staging his own production of “King Lear” during a very strange Cabinet meeting on Monday.

It went approximately as follows.

Trump: All right. Which of you shall we say doth love us most, that we our largest bounty may extend where nature doth with merit challenge? Go around, name your position, talk about your work. Start with Mike.

Mike Pence: I love you more than words can wield the matter. Dearer than eyesight, space and liberty. Beyond what can be valued, rich or rare. No less than life, with grace, health, beauty, honor; as much as child e’er loved, or father found. A love that makes breath poor and speech unable. Beyond all manner of so much I love you. Serving you has been “the greatest privilege of my life,” Mr. Lear.

Jeff Sessions: Sir, I am made of that self mettle as my sister, And prize me at her worth. In my true heart, I find she names my very deed of love — Only she comes too short, that I profess Myself an enemy to all other joys, Which the most precious square of sense possesses. And find I am alone felicitate in your dear highness’ love. “An honor to be here.”

Jim Mattis: I respect the troops a lot.

Trump: Nothing will come of nothing. Speak again.

Mattis: (uncomfortably) I prefer to maintain a dignified silence in the presence of media.

Mike Pompeo: Hey, that’s my line!

Rick Perry: i like you more than i like my hat
and i like my hat a lot
my glasses i don’t like because i sometimes feel that they are judging me and whispering that i am not smart
but you and my hat are both okay
i take it off to honor you
thank you for showing the Earth who was boss, and for showing the Paris accords that the only real Paris is in the Lone Star State.

Linda McMahon: Thank you for letting me work at the Small Business Administration! With you in charge we will have to change the name, because nothing will be small. Businesses will not be small, and dreams will not be small. You will lift us up and hold us in the palms of your right-size hands. You have won the biggest smackdown of all, against the economy, which before was raw and now is cooked.

Alexander Acosta: When I look at you, I feel the way dogs feel when they look at anyone. Merely to breathe your air is an unthinkable honor. (begins to strike himself on the chest) No, air, leave my foul and corrupted lungs and go where you may be appreciated, into the magnificent lungs of Donald Trump, where you will help to power a true king among men. Turn his blood even redder and help to make him strong. He must be strong — for all of us.

Tom Price: My king, please glance into the doorway, where my strong son has brought you a nightingale made entirely of gold and silver. Take it with my compliments and let its tinkling mechanical song fill your heart with joy and make your people glad. If you wish, my son will join your household as your loyal retainer. His presence will vouch for my loyalty, and he knows what will happen to him if I fail you.

Mick Mulvaney: Your budget is more beautiful than the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and was put together much quicker. It will benefit the same people. Also, you smell nice, like an expensive pine tree.

Elaine Chao: You have helped me to make hundreds of people happy!

Trump: Only hundreds?

Chao: (swallows nervously) That is a lot. Just try to count to a hundred. It’s not even POSSIBLE.

(Trump appears to think for a long time, then slowly nods.)

Sonny Perdue: My lord, when you walk in the street, dogs leave their masters to follow at your heels and cats who see you experience loyalty for the first time. Young brides, stepping out of churches, release their husbands’ arms and rush to throw themselves at your feet. The husbands would do so, too, if they did not know that it would not make you slightly uncomfortable, and the mere thought of making you uncomfortable fills them with a sorrow greater than any sorrow they have ever known. When you smile, it is not winter anymore. You alone can melt the frozen heart and the frozen polar ice cap. Also, you are very popular in Mississippi.

Ben Carson: I know what it is to hold a human life in my gifted hands and perform a surgery that is a matter of life or death. So you will understand when I say that the most precious thing I have ever held in my hands is … you. You mean everything. Everything. Everything. (begins to weep with emotion) I believe that if you touched any of us right here, you could heal us all and there would be no need for science. But you must do what you think best.

Reince Priebus: You smell like a thousand angels. Sometimes I think you might be an angel. If heaven is not serving you, I don’t know what is. Maybe there is no heaven. I am grateful to God every day for putting you into my life. You are sunshine. My only sunshine. The only sunshine. “On behalf of the entire senior staff around you, Mr. President, we thank you for the opportunity and the blessing that you’ven give us to serve your agenda and the American people.”

This seems fine.

Image result for trump as king lear

1

Hold the Free-“dum” Fries

From New York Magazine, by Jonathan Chait:

In his speech announcing his plans to withdraw from the international climate agreement, President Trump highlighted the city in which the pact was made as a central argument against it. “I was elected to represent the citizens of Pittsburgh, not Paris,” he said. “It is time to put Youngstown, Ohio, Detroit, Michigan, and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania — along with many, many other locations within our great country — before Paris, France.” The administration deems this rhetorical sally against France so successful it is following up with a “Pittsburgh, not Paris” rally.

Whipping up nationalist anger against France is not a strategy Trump invented. The Republican party used it to some effect in the run-up to the Iraq war, which France opposed (and was vindicated). The conservative media was filled with anti-French diatribes, including a book portraying France as America’s “oldest enemy,” while the GOP-controlled House renamed “french fries” as “freedom fries.” Since the strategy worked before — until the war it was being used to sell turned into a catastrophe — the plan is to try it again.

In fact, France is not the “enemy” here, or even the major protagonist of the agreement Trump is denouncing. The Paris climate agreement is not designed for Parisians any more than the Yalta Treaty was designed to help Yalta or the surrender at Appomattox was constructed for the citizens of a small town in Virginia.

But perhaps the most hilarious aspect of the Trump rally is its location: Lafayette Square. Lafayette is named for the Marquis de Lafayette, a French general who played a crucial role in helping the American revolution. Lafayette is a symbol of French sympathy for the United States and its ideals. There is literally no stupider location in the entire world to stage an anti-French American rally.

Image result for freedom fries

1

Let Donald Be Fredo…er…Donald

From Politico, by Thomas E. Ricks:

So I think that McMaster should step down—not just for his own good, but for the good of the country. What if he is replaced by a right-wing extremist who operates on an alternative set of “facts”? So much the better, I say.

Here’s why: The saving grace of Donald Trump as president is his incompetence. He knows almost nothing of how the federal government works. He seems to have been repeatedly surprised by the checks and balances written into the Constitution by the Founding Fathers. And he seems uninterested in learning.

Effectively, we have no president. Rather, we have someone who plays the president on television and on Twitter. Aside from a few of his pet subjects, such as immigration, Trump seems to have almost no effect on the workings of the federal government. What we have seen is a demonstration that it is actually a fairly robust establishment. On Iran policy, for example, Defense Secretary James Mattis seems to chug along by himself, pursuing an approach that is basically a somewhat more aggressive version of President Barack Obama’s policy. An ideologue likely would be as ineffective as national security adviser as Trump has been as president, and that wouldn’t be a bad thing.

In my revised view, the less control Trump has over the federal government, the better. Think of it this way: Which would be more dangerous, a Mafia family overseen by the cruel and competent Michael Corleone, or one led by his ineffectual brother Fredo? So, I say, Let Donald be Donald.

Image result for fredo corleone i'm smart

0

Tweets of the Day from The Twilight Zone

WPEC CBS12 News WPEC CBS12 News  CBS12

BREAKING: Sinkhole near Mar-a-Lago is causing traffic delays as crews work the scene.

Schooley Schooley @Rschooley

Can we get a time stamp on this and the sinkhole opening at Mar-a-lago?

Matthew Yglesias  Matthew Yglesias @mattyglesias

Trump starts fucking with mystical orbs and the next day a sinkhole opens in front of Mar-a-Lago. He has no idea what he’s unleashed.

Image

1

Wilbur Ross, Captain Clueless

Ross opining about the fact there were no protesters visible in Saudi Arabia:

“There’s no question that they’re liberalizing their society,” said Ross, who joined Trump on the Saudi Arabian leg of his first international trip as president. “The other thing that was fascinating to me, there was not a single hint of a protester anywhere there during the whole time we were there. Not one guy with a bad placard.”

“But Secretary Ross, that may be not necessarily because they don’t have those feelings there, but because they control people and don’t allow them to come and express their feelings quite the same as we do here,” CNBC anchor Becky Quick interjected.

“In theory that could be true,” Ross conceded. “But boy there was certainly no sign of it. There was not a single effort at any incursion. There wasn’t anything. The mood was a genuinely good mood.”

As evidence that Saudi Arabia, where the law prohibits women from driving, is becoming more liberal, Ross offered that panel discussions as part of the Trump visit had included the female head of the Saudi stock exchange as well as a “very bright, very attractive young woman” on a panel on venture capitalism.

Image result for wilbur ross saudi arabia

2

My First Big Boy Trip by Donald J. Trump

From Slate: 

Natalie Matthews-Ramo

I’m getting ready for my big foreign trip.

I will be strongly protecting American interests—that’s what I like to do!

The airplane ride is hours and hours. I get lots of screen time! No one wants to give me my phone, but I shout and shout until they say OK.

On the plane, the pilot pins shiny wings to my jacket. Yay! I like planes as much as I like trucks!

Our first stop is Saudi Arabia. Jared says it is like a beach, big and hot and full of sand. No girls are allowed on the beach.

They eat crazy food in Saudi Arabia, like hummus! But I get to order a steak with ketchup, just the way I like it.

Mr. Steve tells me Muslims are the bad guys, but General Jim says I have to be nice to them. It’s confusing!

I wish General Mike was here. I’m not allowed to play with him anymore.

After Saudi Arabia we go to Israel, where the best Jews live. My friend Bibi sneaks into my room after dark and tells me scary stories about the bad ISIS men. I can’t wait to go home and tell my friends Sergey and Sergey.

I don’t want to go to the sad museum.

In Italy, they call pizza PIZZA! My teachers tell me that if I sit by myself and think about the long-term economic and security benefits of our multilateral North Atlantic defense regime, I can have pepperoni.

I get to meet the “pope”!

Don’t tell anyone, but before I left I was a little bit scared about my trip.

What if the other leaders laughed at me?

What if I had to touch Melania?

What if I had an accident?

But Ivanka said I should be brave. “Who’s my big brave boy?” Ivanka asked me.

“I am,” I said. “I’m a big brave boy.”

It’s been an exciting trip, but when it’s over, I’ll be glad to be home at Mar-a-Lago, where I get as much ice cream as I want.