9

Lock Up Your Textbooks, Here Comes Mary Lou

From The Daily Kos–written by Hunter:

“Texas Republicans’ drive to find the stupidest people in the state and elect them to office seems, if anything, to be picking up steam.

[Republican Mary Lou Bruner] received 48 percent of the vote in a three-person GOP primary for a seat on the Texas State Board of Education this Tuesday, falling just short of the 50 percent needed to claim victory. She will compete in a May runoff election against Keven Ellis, a chiropractor and city school board president who earned 31 percent of the vote.

Some things that Mary Lou Bruner has stated she believes: Obama used to be a gay prostitute. Climate change is a hoax promoted by the communists and, specifically, by Karl Marx himself. Slavery is not the reason for the American Civil War, but we have been led to think that through a conspiracy by historians who “waited until all of the people who were alive during the Civil War and the Restoration died of old age.” School shootings started only after “the schools started teaching evolution.” That there may have been dinosaurs on Noah’s ark, and the reason there are no dinosaurs now is that Noah only brought baby dinosaurs that starved to death when he let them loose back on land.

Presuming that Texas Republicans do not find their long-lost sense of shame between now and this May—and evidence that they will is sparse—she is likely to become one of the most powerful people in America when it comes to content of the textbooks Texas children, and therefore children in quite a few other states besides, find on their desks in coming years.

An openly raving Damn Lunatic. It may be time to consider walling the state of Texas off. I am not ruling out an airlift to rescue the remaining sane people.”

Me first.

jesusrepublican

3

The KKK? Never Heard of Them.

Donald Trump wouldn’t disavow former Ku Klux Klan grand wizard David Duke’s support for his presidential bid, saying Sunday that he knows nothing about the white supremacist leader.

“Just so you understand, I don’t know anything about David Duke, OK?” Trump told CNN’s Jake Tapper on “State of the Union.”

Trump was pressed three times on whether he’d distance himself from the Ku Klux Klan — but never mentioned the group in his answers.

“I don’t know anything about what you’re even talking about with white supremacy or white supremacists,” he said. “So I don’t know. I don’t know — did he endorse me, or what’s going on? Because I know nothing about David Duke; I know nothing about white supremacists.”

Now, Mussolini—there’s a guy I can get behind!

6

So, God Was the Hitman?

Forget about the conspiracy theories that said President Obama had Justice Scalia bumped off.

In reality, it was someone much “higher up.”

Glenn Beck believes that God brought about the death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia in order to encourage Americans to vote for Ted Cruz.

On Tuesday, the conservative radio host and Cruz supporter assumed the voice of God to explain to listeners how Scalia’s death was a divine wake up call for conservatives.

“I couldn’t help, but wonder, why? Why now? Why did you have to take Antonin now?” Beck’s co-host Pat Gray asked on the broadcast.

Beck, calling into the show from outside a church in Boston, said: “You know, I was listening to you guys, and I just want to say, Pat, I think I have an answer for you on that.”

Beck then took on the voice of the Lord: “I just woke the American people up. I took them out of the game show moment and woke enough of them up to say, ‘Look how close your liberty is to being lost,'” he said.

“The Constitution is hanging by a thread. That thread has just been cut. And the only way that we survive now is if we have a true constitutionalist (as president),” Beck said.

5

Well, He Got It in an Email So It Must Be True…

Ben Carson referenced a line he said came from Joseph Stalin, a quote that’s believed to have gained prominence as a conservative social media meme, during his closing statement at Saturday night’s Republican debate.

“Joseph Stalin said if you want to bring America down you have to undermine three things — our spiritual life, our patriotism, and our morality,” Carson said, puzzling some observers, who couldn’t quite place the remark.

And for good reason. The mythbusters at Snopes.com, in a recently updated review, state that the line, which Carson is reported to have used before, have little evidence to back up that it came from Stalin. The CNN Reality Check team rated its attribution to Stalin as “false.”

And he probably believed this one too:  “Sixteen girls impregnated in swimming pool.”

genepool.jpg

3

Give. Me. A. Break.

“Republican presidential hopeful Jeb Bush says President Obama has missed out on the opportunity to promote his family as a model for others to follow.

Bush on Friday told the Faith and Family Presidential Forum at Bob Jones University that a strong family is the best way to fight poverty.

“This is a place where I think President Obama missed a real golden opportunity, because he has a stable family, loving children – great, balanced children from what I can tell – a strong relationship with his wife, and he could have shown that as a model for others to emulate,” he said, according to CNN. “And I don’t think he’s done it as much.”

The former Florida governor said the “public persona of the presidency has power” to influence the behavior of the public.”

Sure. When the Republican Neanderthals make “jokes” about Mrs. Obama’s appearance and kvell about the “inappropriate” clothing of Malia and Sasha. Or how they should be more respectful at the annual pardoning of the Thanksgiving turkey.

Yeah. We need more of that.