From The New Yorker:
By Roz Chast, one of my favorite cartoonists from The New Yorker:
I came across some Victorian designs a while back that featured women and letters of the alphabet. Perhaps they were meant to be bookplates, I’m not sure, but with a few modifications here and there I thought they’d make nifty silhouettes. This one is “E,” obviously for Eve (you know, the one who rode to church on a dinosaur with her hubby, Adam?) It depicts her downfall, with that furshlugginer apple in her hand and the serpent s-s-s-lithering around the letter, thoroughly enjoying what he hath wrought. Put the blame on Mame, boys. Or in this case, Eve.
And where’s Adam? Probably went off to name all the animals in the world, or something exciting like that, and left her at home with the snake.
Isn’t that just like a man?
From The Daily Kos: “One Fine Morning in Arizona”
Shop owner: Hello! Welcome to Widget Barn! How can I help you in a totally heterosexual way?
Customer: Yes, I’m looking for a widget.
Shop owner: In a totally heterosexual way?
Shop owner: It’s my sincere religious belief that I can only serve heterosexuals here. You…are heterosexual, I presume.
Customer: How can you tell?
Shop owner: Well, you drove up in a Chevy pickup. You’re wearing a John Deere hat. Those work boots have clearly gotten a workout in the heterosexual dirt…
Customer: I’m not lisping.
Shop owner: That, too!
Customer: I’m not prancing. I’m not dropping any soap. I’m not humming Donna Summer…
Shop owner: …or YMCA.
Customer: Still, I could be putting on an act. You know how good gays are at acting. I hear Hollywood’s full of them.
Shop owner: Well, are you gay?
Customer: I don’t know. Am I?
Shop owner: I don’t know.
Customer: Your sincerely-held religious beliefs forbid you from selling to gays, but you don’t even know one when you see one?
Shop owner: I… But… Look, do you want a widget or not?
Customer: Sorry, but my sincerely-held religious beliefs forbid me from buying from bigots.
Shop owner: Good lord. The world sure is full of rude people.