9

You Can Take Our Tampons, But You Can’t Take Our Freedom…

…Oh, I guess you can.

In case you didn’t hear, they were confiscating women’s feminine hygiene products at the Texas Lege today prior to the abortion bill hearing.   They might be used for nefarious schemes, like lobbing them at the heads of the Republicans who want to devastate women’s health care in Texas.

But, guns are okay.  If you’re a guy and you’re packing heat, that is.

tampon gun

26

Romancing the Stone

My son and his family were here in Texas this weekend from California and one of the things they wanted to do was hike to the top of Enchanted Rock.

(Please click on the photos for enlarged views.)

Enlarge the view and, yes, those are people way up at the top.

Here’s a short video from the Texas Parks and Wildlife department:

Seven of our four adult, four kids and one grandma party of climbers decided to take the vertical attack in ascending the dome.

Two of us, my daughter-in-law and I, otherwise known as The Lame and The Halt, opted for a modified switch-back approach at about the three-quarters point in the climb.

My DIL suffers from a knee injury that causes her knee to sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies when she walks, and I have plantar fasciitis (heel pain) in one foot, with a little tarsal tunnel syndrome thrown in for added enjoyment.

We were traversing in a more diagonal fashion back and forth across the face of the rock instead of climbing straight up and it wasn’t long before we realized that we’d lost sight of the rest of our little group.

At that point we couldn’t see the top of the dome.  We looked around us and saw no other climbers below us either.

It was just us chickens.

This must be how the Donner Party felt.

Finally we saw two women walking down from the summit and I asked them if the end was in sight.

One said, “Oh, there’s a flat area and then it’s just a little more after that!”

Her companion said, “You’ve got a long way to go.”

Great.  An optimist and a pessimist out on a hike together.

But we did manage to get to the top not too long after everybody else and I have to admit the views were spectacular.

You can see the effects of the long drought on the vegetation.

Triumphant granddaughters!

I give new meaning to the name "Rocky."

Granddaughter in obligatory "pushing the boulder" pose.

On the downhill walk, looking back toward the summit.

Interesting rock formations. Discuss among yourselves...

Dear Governor Goodhair: Forget Cain, please send rain.

4

Move Over, Herman

Oh, that Andy Borowitz.  God love ‘im.  He’s got to be my favorite humorist and commentator on politics and the absurdity of modern life.

We’ve all heard about Herman Cain’s “9-9-9” plan.

Michele Bachmann smilingly said that, upside down, it’s the mark of the beast.

Jon Huntsman lamely quipped that it’s the price of a pizza.

Now, here’s Andy in the Borowitz Report today on Rick Perry’s plan:

**********************************

Elsewhere, Texas Governor Rick Perry announced what he called his “1-1-1” plan:

“Every American gets 1 percent tax, 1 mandatory vaccination, and 1 execution.”

***************************

9

Charlton Heston He Ain’t

Here’s candidate Rick Perry’s wife, Anita, reflecting on her husband being “called by God” to run for the presidency:

“She likened Perry’s decision to run to encountering a “burning bush,” a reference to the Biblical story of Moses receiving a sign from God. And Anita Perry suggested that her husband’s current difficulties were a “test.”

“Last week, someone came up to Rick and gave him the scripture. He said “Rick, I want to tell you God is testing you,” she said.”

And, not unlike Gov. Goodhair’s time at Texas A & M, he’s making C’s and D’s.

And that “burning bush”?  I think that was the state of Texas this past summer.

Just sayin’.

12

Ya Think?

Shades of Katie Couric’s famous “gotcha” question to Sarah Palin about what newspapers she reads:

“But Perry, campaigning Saturday in Iowa’s staunchly conservative northwest, barely touched on religion at all. In stops at Sioux City and Orange City, he never mentioned Mormonism, Romney by name, or even Christianity, for that matter.

Asked by Republican Steven Bernston what books have most influenced him, Perry mentioned only one: the work of conservative economist Friedrich Hayek. Bernston, a corn and beans farmer from Paullina, later said he was surprised that Perry didn’t at least mention the Bible.

“I don’t think he’s a reader,” Bernston said in an interview, noting that Perry used the question to switch to previous statements about his opposition to government efforts to stimulate the economy.”

15

Molly-isms

Today I thought I’d honor the late Molly Ivins (1944-2007) whose humor and keen observations are greatly missed this election season.  We have Molly to thank for the term “Governor Goodhair” in reference to Rick Perry.  How perfect is that?

Molly’s quotable quotes:

 •In Texas, we do not hold high expectations for the [governor’s] office; it’s mostly been occupied by crooks, dorks and the comatose.

• Good thing we’ve still got politics in Texas — finest form of free entertainment ever invented.

• [on Texas politics] Better than the zoo. Better than the circus.

• I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part, and discuss it only with consenting adults.

•A few years before Billie Carr  (click the link to read Molly’s eulogy of the “Godmother of Texas Liberals”) died this September at age 74, a friend called to ask how she was doing. “Well,” she said, “They just impeached my boy up in Washington, there’s not a Democrat left in statewide office in Texas, the Republicans have taken every judgeship in Harris County, and yesterday I found out I have cancer.”

Pause.

“I think I’ll go out and get a pregnancy test because with my luck, it’ll come back positive.”

• Naturally, when it comes to voting, we in Texas are accustomed to discerning that fine hair’s-breadth worth of difference that makes one hopeless dipstick slightly less awful than the other. But it does raise the question: Why bother?

Oh, it’s just that your life is at stake.

• It’s a low-tax, low-service state–so shoot us. The only depressing part is that, unlike Mississippi, we can afford to do better. We just don’t.

• As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can’t drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against ’em anyway, you don’t belong in office.

• Although it is true that only about 20 percent of American workers are in unions, that 20 percent sets the standards across the board in salaries, benefits and working conditions. If you are making a decent salary in a non-union company, you owe that to the unions. One thing that corporations do not do is give out money out of the goodness of their hearts.

•Let me say for the umpteenth time, George W. is not a stupid man. The IQ of his gut, however, is open to debate. In Texas, his gut led him to believe the death penalty has a deterrent effect, even though he acknowledged there was no evidence to support his gut’s feeling. When his gut, or something, causes him to announce that he does not believe in global warming — as though it were a theological proposition — we once again find his gut ruling that evidence is irrelevant. In my opinion, Bush’s gut should not be entrusted with making peace in the Middle East.

•Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.