7

And There You Have It in a Nutshell

 

Donald Trump says he’s an extremely smart person. Now we know where he gets all those smarts:

“Anger has been boiling over at Mr.Trump’s rallies over the last week. On Saturday a protester jumped over a barrier and rushed the stage where Mr. Trump was speaking.

Later on Saturday, Mr. Trump posted a tweet with a video, set to Arabic music, showing someone appearing to be the stage-rusher dragging an American flag. Mr. Trump accused the man of having ties to the Islamic State, also known as ISIS.

The video was apparently fake, but Mr. Trump insisted on Sunday that it raised questions about the protester.

“Supposedly, there was chatter about ISIS,” Mr. Trump said. “All I know is what’s on the internet.”

10

Lock Up Your Textbooks, Here Comes Mary Lou

From The Daily Kos–written by Hunter:

“Texas Republicans’ drive to find the stupidest people in the state and elect them to office seems, if anything, to be picking up steam.

[Republican Mary Lou Bruner] received 48 percent of the vote in a three-person GOP primary for a seat on the Texas State Board of Education this Tuesday, falling just short of the 50 percent needed to claim victory. She will compete in a May runoff election against Keven Ellis, a chiropractor and city school board president who earned 31 percent of the vote.

Some things that Mary Lou Bruner has stated she believes: Obama used to be a gay prostitute. Climate change is a hoax promoted by the communists and, specifically, by Karl Marx himself. Slavery is not the reason for the American Civil War, but we have been led to think that through a conspiracy by historians who “waited until all of the people who were alive during the Civil War and the Restoration died of old age.” School shootings started only after “the schools started teaching evolution.” That there may have been dinosaurs on Noah’s ark, and the reason there are no dinosaurs now is that Noah only brought baby dinosaurs that starved to death when he let them loose back on land.

Presuming that Texas Republicans do not find their long-lost sense of shame between now and this May—and evidence that they will is sparse—she is likely to become one of the most powerful people in America when it comes to content of the textbooks Texas children, and therefore children in quite a few other states besides, find on their desks in coming years.

An openly raving Damn Lunatic. It may be time to consider walling the state of Texas off. I am not ruling out an airlift to rescue the remaining sane people.”

Me first.

jesusrepublican

11

America, We’ve Hit Rock Bottom

So, do y’all remember, not too long ago, when President Obama caused the GOP to froth at the mouth when he wore a tan suit to a press conference?

A tan suit. 

He was being “un-presidential” and demeaning the office of the presidency because of his clothing choice.

A tan suit.

And yet, last night we had the GOP front-runner and likely presidential nominee, Donald Trump, reassuring the world that when it comes to the size of his dick, “I guarantee you, there’s no problem.”

And the crowd went wild.

This is what we’ve come to, America.

Too short for this ride?

“IT’S THIS BIG!”

3

Glenn Beck’s Fever Dream

Radio host Glenn Beck is urging GOP presidential candidates Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio to team up to oppose Donald Trump.
 Beck called for a ticket of “Ted Cruz for president, Marco Rubio as vice president,” on his radio show Wednesday, according to The Blaze. Beck has already endorsed Cruz for president.
 The radio host laid out a plan for other prominent GOP figures to align themselves with a Cruz-Rubio team.
 “Say our Supreme Court nominee is Mike Lee,” Beck said, suggesting the Utah senator as a replacement for the late Justice Antonin Scalia.
 “Rand Paul is going to be Treasury secretary. Ben Carson, we’re going to back you with everything we have to take Rubio’s Senate seat. How is that not a win for absolutely everybody?”
Somebody needs to check Glenn for the Zika virus because he’s clearly hallucinating.
2006-05-20 13.15.45
3

The KKK? Never Heard of Them.

Donald Trump wouldn’t disavow former Ku Klux Klan grand wizard David Duke’s support for his presidential bid, saying Sunday that he knows nothing about the white supremacist leader.

“Just so you understand, I don’t know anything about David Duke, OK?” Trump told CNN’s Jake Tapper on “State of the Union.”

Trump was pressed three times on whether he’d distance himself from the Ku Klux Klan — but never mentioned the group in his answers.

“I don’t know anything about what you’re even talking about with white supremacy or white supremacists,” he said. “So I don’t know. I don’t know — did he endorse me, or what’s going on? Because I know nothing about David Duke; I know nothing about white supremacists.”

Now, Mussolini—there’s a guy I can get behind!

1

Quote of the Day

From Politico:

While Rubio dances around the electorate’s resentments, Trump revels in them. On primary night in South Carolina, he tapped into their nationalism as he whacked at Mexico and China. “They’ve taken our jobs, they’ve taken our money, they’ve taken our everything,” he declared.

The crowd cheered wildly. “I showed anger and the people of our country are very angry!” Trump later tweeted about his South Carolina victory.

Perkins, the evangelical leader, described the Trump phenomenon’s lack of ideology this way: “You can’t be fearful and thoughtful at the same time.”