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Muslim Question Guy Now GOP Frontrunner

From The Borowitz Report:

ROCHESTER, N.H. (The Borowitz Report)—Two days after asserting that President Barack Obama was a foreign-born Muslim, a guy who asked Donald Trump a provocative question at a New Hampshire rally is now the front-runner in the Republican race for President, according to a new poll.

The poll, which was conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, shows Muslim Question Guy leading the G.O.P. field with thirty-four per cent as opposed to nineteen per cent for Trump.
In interviews with poll respondents, Republicans gave Muslim Question Guy high marks for stating that President Obama was neither Christian nor American and criticized Trump for not being more vocal in his agreement on those points.

Minutes after the poll was released, however, Trump was on the offensive, attacking Muslim Question Guy during an appearance on CNN.

“People who are supporting this guy haven’t done their homework,” the businessman said. “If you look back over the past seven years, no one has called Obama a foreign-born Muslim more often than I have.”

Trump’s comments did little to slow the momentum of Muslim Question Guy, who drew four thousand people at his first official campaign rally in Concord, New Hampshire, where he vowed to take back the country from Muslim clockmakers.

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Move Over, Herman

Oh, that Andy Borowitz.  God love ‘im.  He’s got to be my favorite humorist and commentator on politics and the absurdity of modern life.

We’ve all heard about Herman Cain’s “9-9-9” plan.

Michele Bachmann smilingly said that, upside down, it’s the mark of the beast.

Jon Huntsman lamely quipped that it’s the price of a pizza.

Now, here’s Andy in the Borowitz Report today on Rick Perry’s plan:

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Elsewhere, Texas Governor Rick Perry announced what he called his “1-1-1” plan:

“Every American gets 1 percent tax, 1 mandatory vaccination, and 1 execution.”

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