5

Idle Hands Are The Trumps’ Playground

So. I’ve been trying these past few weeks to wrap my head around the outcome of the presidential election. I haven’t been very successful at it. I take a lot of deep breaths and tell myself to calm down, it can’t possibly be as bad as I imagine it will be.

But as it turns out—it already is.

Der Führer went on a “victory tour” yesterday and exulted in his crushing defeat of his foe (nevermind those 3 million more votes she got, which weren’t illegally gained, by the way.) He railed against the “dishonest” media, yet again, and continued his call for flag burning to be cause for loss of one’s citizenship, despite the fact that that has been proven to be un-Constitutional.

Hey, no biggie. Or bigly. Der Führer is calling the shots and when he says throw out the Constitution, we will respond by saying “How far?”

Anyhoo. I am tired of waking up in a cold sweat at 3:00 in the morning. During menopause I used to wake up in a hot sweat. I’ll take that over this any day.

So I’ve been pushing myself to get crafty (not Trump crafty, but actual craft-making crafty) and make some Christmas decorations. Since my maternal great-grandparents were from Norway, I used to have several of those red and white paper woven heart baskets that I had made when my son was a baby—50 years ago now.

But, cue the violins, all of my Christmas decorations were stolen from a storage unit a couple of years ago by a Grinch-like thief, so I decided to make some more.

This time out of felt.

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Then, figuring I’m on a roll (and hoping my fingers will last a little longer before going numb from the exertion), I found some designs on the interwebs for a Dala horse and a bird. These two are pretty small, around two to three inches in length, but my artificial Christmas tree is pretty small too, so they should work just fine.

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Then, my daughter saw them and requested a little larger Dala horse in slightly retro colors to go with her decor.

Et voilà!

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And lastly, in an “idle hands are the Trumps’ playground” fervor, I souped up a standard gingerbread house my grandkids sold to raise money for their school. It came pre-assembled with a kind of puny pack of candy and a bag of white royal icing.

I, however, had biglier plans.

I went to Walmart and bought a couple packages of pre-made cake decorations in the shape of Christmas lights and also a bag of red cookie icing. Then, being on a felt “bender,” I made a 3-D Snoopy.

The decorating process was somewhat excruciating—the royal icing was too watery at first and then too dry and kept oozing out of the zip-lock bag they provided. I always say “Next year I make my own!” and this time I mean it. If Alton Brown can do it, so can I.

The results were pretty satisfying, even though I was a wreck by the time I finished.

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So, that’s what I’ve been doing to try to retain my sanity. How about you?

How are you coping in the post-Trumpian Apocalypse?

0

Yeah, And The Brain Is From Abby Normal

From Politico:

“Donald Trump’s campaign was the first step towards identity politics in the United States,” cheered Richard Spencer, the president of the National Policy Institute, an arm of the alt-right, at an afternoon press conference. “…I do think we have a psychic connection, a deeper connection with Donald Trump, in a way we simply do not have with most Republicans.”

The alt-right, a nationalist movement that embraces white identity politics and has been associated with racism and anti-Semitism, gathered over the weekend at the Ronald Reagan Building and International Trade Center downtown to regroup after the election and plot a path forward.

“I think the alt-right, in a way, was too often talking to itself, a head without a body,” he said. “…The Trump movement was a body without a head.”

“I think, moving forward, the alt-right can, as an intellectual vanguard, complete Trump,” he continued.

Image result for trump frankenstein monster

 

3

But That Didn’t Stop Him from Running for President, Did It?

From The Hill:

Retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson has told President-elect Donald Trump that he isn’t interested in serving as secretary of Health and Human Services, a Carson ally confirmed to The Hill on Tuesday.

“Dr. Carson feels he has no government experience, he’s never run a federal agency. The last thing he would want to do was take a position that could cripple the presidency.”

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2

Well, That Didn’t Take Long

President-elect Drumpf is back on Twitter…then his handlers slap his hand and make him “play nice.”

 Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump   14 hr

Just had a very open and successful presidential election. Now professional protesters, incited by the media, are protesting. Very unfair!

 

 Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump   5 hr

Love the fact that the small groups of protesters last night have passion for our great country. We will all come together and be proud!

7

Dear America…

Last night Donald Trump grabbed you by the pussy and you let him do it because he’s a star. I thought you were better than that, but apparently I was wrong.

Now, he’s going to have to deliver on all of his promises: to build a 2,000 mile long wall along the border and make Mexico pay for it; to single-handedly resuscitate a dead coal industry and bring back manufacturing jobs that have left the building long ago, much like Elvis; to tear up trade treaties and climate change pacts, while ignoring the fact that Florida (which he won) will be underwater in the not too distant future; to round up and deport 11 million illegal immigrants, “humanely” by means of a deportation force; to repeal and replace the ACA with…something…causing 21 million people to lose their insurance coverage; to prosecute his political opponent so y’all can “lock her up”; to open up the libel laws so he can sue anyone who says something about him that he doesn’t like; to kick the shit out of ISIS…somehow differently than the way we’re successfully kicking them now; to put justices on the Supreme Court who will show those uppity wimmen who’s boss when it comes to control of their own uteruses; to make everyone say “Merry Christmas,” even though they may not be a *Christian* as he opportunistically says he is.

The list goes on.

I hope you’re happy today. But, not unlike Brexit, when buyer’s remorse sets in later–don’t come crying to me.

I’m done.