1

Give. Me. A. Break.

“Republican presidential hopeful Jeb Bush says President Obama has missed out on the opportunity to promote his family as a model for others to follow.

Bush on Friday told the Faith and Family Presidential Forum at Bob Jones University that a strong family is the best way to fight poverty.

“This is a place where I think President Obama missed a real golden opportunity, because he has a stable family, loving children – great, balanced children from what I can tell – a strong relationship with his wife, and he could have shown that as a model for others to emulate,” he said, according to CNN. “And I don’t think he’s done it as much.”

The former Florida governor said the “public persona of the presidency has power” to influence the behavior of the public.”

Sure. When the Republican Neanderthals make “jokes” about Mrs. Obama’s appearance and kvell about the “inappropriate” clothing of Malia and Sasha. Or how they should be more respectful at the annual pardoning of the Thanksgiving turkey.

Yeah. We need more of that.

3

Well, Wasn’t That Convenient?

From a phone call with the Oregon wildlife refuge terrorists:

Earlier on the call, the occupiers sounded concerned that the FBI planned to move in Wednesday night and that it would lead to their deaths. At times, they seemed to fatalistically embrace that outcome.

When one woman — presumed to be Fiore — asked two of them about their families, a man responded, “God has put us on this path. Our families are already taken care of; they weren’t in our lives much before all this because God made sure we didn’t have that to weigh us down so that we could do this.”

Sounds to me like a good excuse to be a crappy father.

2

Yee Haw! About Time…

“Famed Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy was arrested late Wednesday night in Portland, Ore. on his way to the wildlife refuge occupation he supported.

Bundy, 74, was booked by local law enforcement at Portland International Airport on federal charges stemming from the 2014 armed standoff at his Nevada ranch, The Oregonian reports.”

5

Lies and the Lying Liar Who Tells Them

From professional weasel, Ted Cruz:

“We are one justice away from the Supreme Court ordering ten commandments monuments taken down at courthouses and city halls throughout this country,” he said.

“We are not far away from them ordering the chisels to come out to take off the crosses and the Stars of Davids on the tombstones of our fallen soldiers.”

He also said a liberal majority of justices would order “veterans’ memorials to be torn down over this country,” give up America’s national “sovereignty to the United Nations and the World Court,” and nix the Second Amendment right to bear arms, as well as push a liberal agenda on abortion.

“We are one justice away from the Supreme Court striking down every restriction on abortion and mandating unlimited abortion-on-demand up until the moment of birth, partial birth with taxpayer funding and no notification,” Cruz said.

“This issue is huge in the next election.”

2

Steven Wright—My Idol

A number of years ago, I created about 100 ATCs, also known as artist trading cards. Each one is the size of a playing card and mine were little collages that illustrated funny quotes.

One of my favorite sources for these usually absurd observations was the comedian Steven Wright. Woody Allen was another. Woody’s style was the nebbishy guy who angsted about sex and death a lot. Steven was just plain off the wall. That’s why I love him.

Today I came across an interview with him about his joke writing style on New York Magazine’s website.  The interviewer asked him if he had a favorite joke.

This is what he said:

I do have a favorite, but it’s not the general public’s favorite. It’s kind of long. It had to do with: I’m going to my grandfather’s wake. I kneeled down at the casket, and I’m looking at him in the casket, and I started thinking about the batteries in my flashlight. Then I said to my aunt, “Maybe he’s not dead, maybe he’s just in the wrong way.”

That’s my actual favorite one, but usually, when people ask me if I have a favorite one, I just say no. I don’t know why, it’s almost like a private thing.

I wish I had heard that one when I was creating my ATCs. That would have been a fun one to do.  *Dang*

Here’s a ten minute video of Steven’s comedy routine. I was pleased to recognize several of the jokes that I incorporated in my ATCs.

And below that are some of my Steven Wright inspired ATCs.  Enjoy!