Tag Archives: Mike Pence

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Mike Pence Felt a Cold Chill This Afternoon. He’ll Be Debating Kamala Harris.

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From Esquire, by Charles P. Pierce:

Long about 4:20 ET Tuesday afternoon, Mike Pence of Indiana felt a cold chill Down There and he didn’t know why.

Joe Biden returned to the inevitable by selecting Senator Kamala Harris to be his running mate. This decision put Pence in a nutcracker. Either he has to debate Harris on television—and he’s seen what happened to witnesses before Senate committees when Harris’s turn came around to question them—or he won’t get the chance, because this selection has to make some of the cutthroats on the other side wonder if dumping Pence for, say, Nikki Haley, is the proper countermove. (Narrator: They won’t, but you know some of them are thinking about it.) Frankly, given the choice between public evisceration and public defenestration, I don’t know which way Pence would go. Maybe he should poll on it.

washington, dc may 1senator kamala harris d ca questions attorney general william barr as barr testifies before the senate judiciary committee at the dirksen building on wednesday, may 1, 2019, in washington, dc the hearing is to discuss robert s mueller iii's investigation of russian interference in the 2016 presidential electionphoto by jahi chikwendiuthe washington post

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The Vice President Says He Didn’t Wear a Mask So That He Could Look People in the Eye

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 From Esquire, by Charles P. Pierce:

“I thought it would be a good opportunity for me to be here, to be able to speak to these researchers, these incredible health care personnel, and look them in the eye and say thank you.“—Mike Pence at the Mayo Clinic

Yes, that is the vice president* of the United States, and the White House point man on the greatest public-health crisis in a century, admitting that he doesn’t know the difference between a mask and a blindfold. It makes a public mockery of everything Pence and his task force allegedly are doing. It makes a mockery of all the people who have upended their lives on his advice.

OK, so Mike Pence is a bag of hammers. We’ve known that for years. But it’s hard not to conclude that his boneheaded recklessness on Tuesday was prompted by Pence’s desire to prove to the president*, who’s already said he won’t wear a mask because it poses a danger to his perpetually threatened manhood, that Pence is on the team. In other words, Pence didn’t have the simple decency to appear masked in a hospital clinic in the middle of a pandemic because, in this administration*, simple decency is an act of courage beyond Mike Pence’s capabilities. He has the gallows in one eye and Nikki Haley in the other.

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Trump’s Coronavirus Press Conference Was the Apotheosis of 40 Years of Republican Philosophy

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From Esquire, by Charles P. Pierce:

If it is possible to avert a public health crisis by inoculating the population with sheer incoherence, we’re all going to be healthy as horses over the next several months.

He’s not ready, of course. He’s shredded the nation’s public health institutions. He’s populated his administration* with sycophantic know-nothings. He himself doesn’t know anything about anything. He looked incredibly relieved during Wednesday’s press conference when somebody asked him about the effect of a coronavirus pandemic on the stock market. He doesn’t know anything about anything there, either, but at least, in that area, he’s more accustomed to faking it.

The sad part was watching all of these accomplished, brilliant people, the people who have dedicated their lives to solving epidemic diseases at the highest level, standing there behind a vulgar talking yam, praising him for his brilliant work thus far, and listening to him hand the country’s response over to Vice President Mike Pence, who is just as ignorant as the president* but with that extra Jesus-y sheen on his ignorance. This is the same Pence who, while governor of Indiana, once oversaw an HIV epidemic in a small town in part because of his animus to Planned Parenthood, and who wrote newspaper columns denigrating the connection between cigarettes and respiratory diseases.

Like so much else about this administration*, the press conference was the apotheosis of over 40 years of Republican governing philosophy: the neglect of science in every field from climate to the human reproductive system, the rejection of empiricism in every field from economics to public health, the deliberately cultivated incompetence within the institutions of government and without. The distance between James Watt and Mike Pence is so small, it’s hardly worth measuring. The press conference was nothing more than what we’ve come to expect from Republican presidents, albeit more of a tussle with the English language than even those engaged in by George W. Bush. The coronavirus may fade. The prion disease, which is just as contagious, rages on.

President Trump Holds Press Conference With CDC Officials On Coronavirus

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Shades of Mike Pence and “Mother”

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From Esquire, by Charles P. Pierce:

Larrison Campbell with the online publication Mississippi Today wrote that she requested to “shadow” Robert Foster to report about his campaign before the Aug. 6 primary, and his campaign director told her Foster wouldn’t ride in a vehicle alone with her because people could insinuate Foster and Campbell are having an affair.

Foster said Wednesday that he won’t be alone with any woman other than his wife, even while working or campaigning, because of the possible public perception that he was doing something to hurt his marriage. He said being alone with a man is no problem. Foster told The Associated Press he has hired women to work for the agricultural tourism business that he and his wife run in northern Mississippi, and that he would hire women staffers if he is elected governor. He said, however: “It’s unprofessional to be alone with a woman who’s not my wife.”

Subsequent to this peculiar announcement, Foster apparently saw an opening among the Bible-bangers because he leapt to the electric Twitter machine to declare himself the bravest of the brave. Political gold, Jerry! From Mississippi Today:

“I am confident that a majority of Mississippians understand that this isn’t about gender discrimination, rather a personal conviction,” Foster told Mississippi Today on Wednesday afternoon. “I am a God-fearing man devoted to my wife and even though having a ride along with me wouldn’t be in itself immoral, the Bible teaches us to refrain from the appearance of impropriety. That’s what I did, and I’m sticking to my guns.”

The groundbreaking documentary, My Penis Terrifies Me: The Robert Foster Story, will be debuting at Cannes next year.

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