9

Jeezus, It’s Always About You, Isn’t It?

Trump commenting on the death of journalist Cokie Roberts, who died today from breast cancer complications:

“I never met her,” Trump told reporters traveling with him on Air Force One. “She never treated me nicely. But I would like to wish her family well. She was a professional, and I respect professionals. I respect you guys a lot, you people a lot. She was a real professional. Never treated me well, but I certainly respect her as a professional.”

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3

Uh, Oh. Add Her to the List of “Nasty” Women.

From the Washington Post:

President Trump on Wednesday attacked Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen, saying she had made “nasty” comments about his interest in having the United States purchase Greenland.

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5

He Sat There Like an Unfeeling Lump Until the Nobel Prize Was Mentioned

“We cannot find a safe place to live… [ISIS] killed my mom. They killed my six brothers. They left behind them.”
— Yazidi activist and Nobel Prize winner Nadia Murad, to Trump in Oval Office

“Where are they now?”
— Trump

“They killed them. They are in the mass grave in Sinjar and I’m still fighting just to live safe in safety. Please do something.”
— Murad

“I know the area very well. We’re going to look into it very strongly…You had the Nobel Prize? That’s incredible. They gave it to you for what reason? Maybe you can explain.”
— Trump

“For what reason?…I didn’t give up. I make it clear to everyone that ISIS raped thousands of Yazidi women.”
— Murad

5

Having Spoken, Brave Yertle the Turtle Went Back Into His Shell

From CNN:

Asked if he would consider it a racist attack if someone told his wife Elaine Chao — who is the US Secretary of Transportation and an immigrant and naturalized US citizen — to go back to her own country, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell sidestepped the question and talked about his support for legal immigration.

“The Secretary of Transportation came here at the age of 8 not speaking a word of English, and has recognized the American dream. This is a process of renewal that’s gone on in this country for a very long time, and it’s good for America. We ought to continue it,” he told reporters.

McConnell continued: “As I said, the legal immigration has been a fulfilling of the American dream. The new people who come here have a lot of ambition, a lot of energy, tend to do very well and invigorate our country. My wife is a good example of that.”

He went on to say President Trump is “not a racist.”

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4

Shades of Mike Pence and “Mother”

From Esquire, by Charles P. Pierce:

Larrison Campbell with the online publication Mississippi Today wrote that she requested to “shadow” Robert Foster to report about his campaign before the Aug. 6 primary, and his campaign director told her Foster wouldn’t ride in a vehicle alone with her because people could insinuate Foster and Campbell are having an affair.

Foster said Wednesday that he won’t be alone with any woman other than his wife, even while working or campaigning, because of the possible public perception that he was doing something to hurt his marriage. He said being alone with a man is no problem. Foster told The Associated Press he has hired women to work for the agricultural tourism business that he and his wife run in northern Mississippi, and that he would hire women staffers if he is elected governor. He said, however: “It’s unprofessional to be alone with a woman who’s not my wife.”

Subsequent to this peculiar announcement, Foster apparently saw an opening among the Bible-bangers because he leapt to the electric Twitter machine to declare himself the bravest of the brave. Political gold, Jerry! From Mississippi Today:

“I am confident that a majority of Mississippians understand that this isn’t about gender discrimination, rather a personal conviction,” Foster told Mississippi Today on Wednesday afternoon. “I am a God-fearing man devoted to my wife and even though having a ride along with me wouldn’t be in itself immoral, the Bible teaches us to refrain from the appearance of impropriety. That’s what I did, and I’m sticking to my guns.”

The groundbreaking documentary, My Penis Terrifies Me: The Robert Foster Story, will be debuting at Cannes next year.

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4

Alabama Says: Life Begins at Erection

Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey on Wednesday signed into law a controversial abortion bill that could punish doctors who perform abortions with life in prison.

“Today, I signed into law the Alabama Human Life Protection Act, a bill that was approved by overwhelming majorities in both chambers of the Legislature,” said Ivey, a Republican, in a statement. “To the bill’s many supporters, this legislation stands as a powerful testament to Alabamians’ deeply held belief that every life is precious and that every life is a sacred gift from God.”

Gorsuch and Kavanaugh, the ball is in your court. Literally.