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Quote of the Day

Ralph Peters, a retired U.S. Army lieutenant colonel who served as a strategic analyst for Fox News until he quit in March 2018, criticized his former colleague [Tucker Carlson] in an email. “Tammy Duckworth paid her dues with her blood,” he wrote. “Tucker just pays his platinum credit card bills.”

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Lone guy at Fox News still worried about caravan, embarrassing colleagues

From the Washington Post, satire by Alexandra Petri:

FOX NEWS HQ, PROBABLY — Days after the midterm elections, one “Fox & Friends” producer was still “terrified” the network had scarcely spared a thought for the migrant caravan that only a few days ago, according to the network, was about to sweep into the nation and ruin it, thus demanding the immediate presence of U.S. troops at the border.

His whole Fox family was mortified to discover Gary still believed in the horrifying vision of the caravan, even after Election Day.

In the green room, colleagues rolled their eyes as he kept asking, “Where is it? Why can’t we still see it?” and “What happened to Operation Faithful Patriot?”

“I can’t believe he doesn’t know,” one female colleague mused. “It’s kind of, what’s the word? Sad.”

“I think he actually thinks this was all real,” a male colleague ventured, peering through an open door at the producer, who was frantically scrolling on his phone to see whether he could find any footage or coverage of the caravan. “He’s really worried about it. He took me aside at lunch and retold the plot of an entire ‘Doctor Who’ episode where if you looked away from something scary it would suddenly be much closer, and he couldn’t believe we were taking our eyes off this very real threat.”

The man paused to smother laughter. “I’m sorry. He actually — he keeps telling me he can’t believe the president stopped tweeting about it. He can’t believe.

The “Fox & Friends” producer, accustomed to checking the screen every minute to watch the familiar ominous footage as hosts asked creepy, leading rhetorical questions about it, was shocked to see it was no longer there. “What about the diseases and terrorism?” he kept asking as his colleagues tried to avoid making eye contact with one another so they would not burst into laughter. “My whole family is in a bunker! We went to the polls explicitly because of this issue and the president’s effective messaging on it.”

“I do worry about him,” his female colleague added. “He seems genuinely afraid of the images that we had found and were playing on loop. Does he actually think that Santa Claus is white — or that Sean Hannity is a journalist?”

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Bill, Maybe God Isn’t a “He.”

From The Hill:

Former Fox News host Bill O’Reilly said Monday he’s “mad at God” for the sexual misconduct allegations he’s faced in recent months.

“You know, am I mad at God? Yeah, I’m mad at him,” O’Reilly said. “I wish I had more protection. I wish this stuff didn’t happen. I can’t explain it to you. Yeah, I’m mad at him.”

 

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“Cheers, Bill. Enjoy!”—God

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And…Another One Bites the Dust

“The O’Reilly Factor” has been canceled amid a cloud of harassment allegations against the conservative broadcaster.

Rupert Murdoch and his sons James and Lachlan, who run 21st Century Fox, made the announcement Wednesday afternoon.

“After a thorough and careful review of the allegations, the Company and Bill O’Reilly have agreed that Bill O’Reilly will not be returning to the Fox News Channel,” Fox said.

O’Reilly had no immediate comment, but one of his attorneys said a statement is forthcoming.

Bye, Bill! Don’t let the screen door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

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Vladimir Putin Haz a Sad

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From New York Magazine:

Some Republican lawmakers have objected to President Donald Trump’s defense of Russian president Vladimir Putin by claiming the U.S. also “has got a lot of killers” in an interview with Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly. But GOP leaders weren’t the only ones miffed by the exchange.

“We consider such words from the Fox TV company to be unacceptable and insulting,” a Kremlin spokesman told reporters in response to the Fox News host, who said “Putin’s a killer” in response to Trump’s statement that he wanted closer relations with Russia and to work with Putin on defeating ISIS. O’Reilly was referring to allegations that the Russian leader has directed hits on journalists and political opponents.

The Kremlin added that, “Honestly speaking, we would prefer to get an apology from such a respected TV company.”

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Rudy, I Bet You Threw Up a Little in Your Mouth When You Said That.

From Rudy Giuliani (a noun, a verb and 9/11):

“A lot of this talk is just silliness coming from Washington or coming from the Clinton campaign,” Miller said. “And I’ve got to give the Clinton camp credit. They’ve done a pretty good job of working their contacts in the media, you know, pushing a lot of this.”

“Not all networks and news outlets are quite as fair and balanced as Fox News,” he added.

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How The Ape Brain Assesses Risk

From The Daily Kos:

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Or, you can just substitute Ebola for ISIS.  They’re interchangeable to the average Fox News or Breitbart viewer.  And throw in a little IRS, Benghazi, and Obamacare for good measure.  It’s an election year and the GOP is dragging out the old reliable fear zombies of the past that worked so well for George W.’s re-election campaign.

Be afraid.  Be very afraid.