I’m Tired.

I’m 73 and had been a widow for just a year and a half when the pandemic further upended everything. I’ve lived the life of a hermit (although a hermit with curbside grocery pickup) for the last 6+ months.

The intertoobs have been great for maintaining some semblance of human contact, but the flip side is I’m constantly exposed to the rantings of the sweaty, orange-faced current occupant of what used to be The People’s House and the complicity of what used to be the Republican party, which now resembles a cult of personality.

In the year leading up to the 2016 election, I was equally glued to the computer screen and angsted about every little fluctuation in Hillary’s poll numbers, etc. My husband warned me not to get consumed by it all because “What can you do about it? You can cast your vote and the rest is out of your hands.” He was right. As we all know, the unthinkable happened and there went a year of my life down the crapper.

If there’s one thing I hope I’ve learned from this time of reflection following the death of my husband and my self-imposed withdrawal from what used to be polite society it’s what I found on a small bumper sticker in my husband’s desk drawer: “Life is too short to argue with stupid people.”

I’m convinced Trump will win the election by hook or by crook. We already know about the voter suppression and the shenanigans at the USPS. I hope I’m wrong, but as Trump himself says, it is what it is. If the people of this country choose him again as our president, then I guess we deserve the president we get. Nothing I can do about that.

So, I’m backing off from my avid following of politics. I don’t want to spend whatever amount of time I have left on this planet in a constant state of outrage and despair. I’m only one vote, which I will gladly cast and hope it counts.

But I’m tired.

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13 thoughts on “I’m Tired.

  1. I feel much the same way but I don’t know how to disengage myself. I try not to read/watch/listen (although it’s everywhere) but I still have an overwhelming feeling of sadness and impending doom. I will work some phone banks so that I am doing something, but I’m afraid that if he wins, my mental health won’t be able to take it. I think the only way I’ll get through another four years is to leave the country.

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    • I will read the headlines to stay current but I’m trying not to click on every story. Even ones by my favorite political writers. So much of what is being said has been said over and over. Trump’s faults aren’t a “bug,” they’re a feature. People like him not despite all his horrible character flaws but because of them. I’ve been trying to find interesting articles online about anything else; the arts, cats, dogs, and tap dancing (my new go-to stress reliever.)

      Liked by 1 person

    • I am with you Janis! We sold our house in June and have been renting since then. We don’t intend to buy anything else until after whatever is going to happen happens. If the Talking Yam cheats his way into power again, we may be leaving. I don’t want to live in a country that is so stupid!

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  2. I know I will be keeping up with politics until the election is decided. It is frustrating and your late husband is right. I am not ready to give up yet though. But another four years of this man will be hard to take.

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  3. I sure understand. Trump has worn all thinking and caring people out with his daily drama. I, too, used to love following the political scene. I cut way back but still feel the need to keep somewhat current. If he wins—and I think there is a very good chance that he will—I will turn my back on all politics at every levels. Let his supporters deal with the fascism that follows and I hope they enjoy sleeping in the bed they’ve made.

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  4. I have enjoyed your blog and the interesting items you found. I do sometimes feel an impending sense of doom and am most frustrated with the Republican Senators and Congressmen who stood by and allowed (and continue to allow) their party to be hijacked. I just don’t understand.

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  5. I feel the same but I needed to read your words this morning. I have wasted so much time with Trump living rent-free in my head. I’m 76 y/o and my time is too precious to spend on him. I’m happy to donate what I can to Biden’s campaign and to others who are challenging GOP incumbents but I need to step away from the chaos. Thanks for your words this morning.

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  6. i feel this. i’ve stepped back from facebook (fuck zukerberg), and twitter. i can vote. i can encourage, and assist others, in their voting. that’s it. no minds are changed by social media right now, so i don’t engage any more. i went through a phase of trolling, then unfriending, pro-trump acquaintances. now, i just send them into the airlock without comment. they don’t care.

    take care of yourself. if he steals another election, we’re all going to need every ounce of strength for what will come with that. vote. encourage and enable voting. that’s it. xoxoxo

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  7. I try to keep informed but I limit my exposure to it all for my own Sanity and Peace. We are not heading in a positive direction as a Nation, about 30% or so of our Population has become part of the Cult of personality, which is staggering that it’s still so high! Climate Change is wrecking the Western States and Civil unrest is rampant. I feel we’re already in a Civil Cold War and when it erupts into something more extreme around the Election, I have no idea what could happen, but it probably won’t be good. I will Vote to make my small voice heard, that’s all each of us can do to try to save our Democracy and our Nation from catastrophic decline. We’re all Tired, this is exhausting!

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