“Things I Learned From Republicans In September”

From the Daily Kos: Written by Bill in Maine

Extra learny this month:

Same-sex couples getting married is the same as gassing the Jews at Auschwitz. (Bryan Fischer, speaking for the American Family Association)

If you work hard, you won’t have time to get hooked on drugs and that will solve all our drug-problem woes. (Rand Paul)

Muslims can’t be president. (Ben Carson)

Charles Darwin came up with his theory of evolution at the behest of Satan. (Carson again)

America should get back in the torture business. (Carly Fiorina)

Diversity sucks. (Rick Santorum)

The discovery of water on Mars was faked by NASA. (Rush Limbaugh)

It’s acceptable to walk into a classroom of seven- and eight-year-olds and coldly ask them, “Do you know what a nuclear weapon is? Do you know that there are schools that train children your age to be suicide bombers?” (Arizona Congressman Matt Salmon)

Immigrants need to speak American. (Secretary of Energy Sarah Palin)

The Dred Scott decision is still the law of the land, so slavery is still on the books. (Mike Huckabee)

To appeal to Latinos, just leave ’em a little tip when you check out of your hotel. (Gov. John Kasich)

The issuance of secular marriage licenses to same-sex couples is leading America into the very pit of Hell. (Kim Davis’s lawyer Mat Staver)

Congratulations. You may now add a sparkle pony sticker to your diploma.