“Things I Learned From Republicans In September”

From the Daily Kos: Written by Bill in Maine

Extra learny this month:

Same-sex couples getting married is the same as gassing the Jews at Auschwitz. (Bryan Fischer, speaking for the American Family Association)

If you work hard, you won’t have time to get hooked on drugs and that will solve all our drug-problem woes. (Rand Paul)

Muslims can’t be president. (Ben Carson)

Elephant in graduation gown

Charles Darwin came up with his theory of evolution at the behest of Satan. (Carson again)

America should get back in the torture business. (Carly Fiorina)

Diversity sucks. (Rick Santorum)

The discovery of water on Mars was faked by NASA. (Rush Limbaugh)

It’s acceptable to walk into a classroom of seven- and eight-year-olds and coldly ask them, “Do you know what a nuclear weapon is? Do you know that there are schools that train children your age to be suicide bombers?” (Arizona Congressman Matt Salmon)

Immigrants need to speak American. (Secretary of Energy Sarah Palin)

The Dred Scott decision is still the law of the land, so slavery is still on the books. (Mike Huckabee)

To appeal to Latinos, just leave ’em a little tip when you check out of your hotel. (Gov. John Kasich)

The issuance of secular marriage licenses to same-sex couples is leading America into the very pit of Hell. (Kim Davis’s lawyer Mat Staver)

Congratulations. You may now add a sparkle pony sticker to your diploma.

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10 thoughts on ““Things I Learned From Republicans In September”

    • In many cases, both; whether it’s because they are just stupid people who think they’re smart, or else they just assume that other people think the same way they do and make accusations that reveal something unpleasant about what that way is.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. We are doomed and it sure isn’t from same sex marriages. Remember the good old days when we’d shake our heads at idiots who spouted such ignorance? Now we put ’em on the airwaves and even (gawd help us!) elect them. Furthermore, please tell me that the pope meeting with Kim Davis and her husband was just a freakin’ nightmare and didn’t really happen.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. In a dinner conversation with Dan Savage (who happens to be married to a guy!) Bryan Fischer said, “Just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean you make it illegal.”
    I keep that in mind because when he’s talking to reasonable, intelligent people (read: NOT the American Family Association) his argument against same-sex marriage is “I don’t like it”.
    The others are just as easy, but Bryan Fischer having said “Just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean you make it illegal” is something I like throwing in Bryan Fischer’s face.

    Liked by 1 person

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